We’re back at the mansion, the driveway is hosed down, and a new Chris Harrison is here telling us yet again that this journey is going to be the most dramatic yet. Going into tonight’s premiere, I expected cattiness, I expected some raunchy limo exits and some dopey moments from Clayton. In many ways, that’s exactly what we got.
We start out with Clayton going to surprise his mom with the news of his being the lead. Clayton’s mama is a cutie! He lets his mom know that he’s the next Bachelor and her mouth says “Oh my god!” but her face says “Why the fuck are we recording this?” Get ready mama, it’s only going to get crazier, just ask SweetNums, aka Pilot Pete’s mom.
Our new Bachelor is Clayton Echard from Eureka, Missouri, which is where Six Flags St. Louis is. I’m happy that Clayton claimed Eureka instead of saying he’s from St. Louis because they are not the same.
Three minutes in and Clayton was already making a joke about being in only 8 minutes of Michelle’s season and honestly, he’s not wrong, but this joke is played out at this point. Pointing out that no one wanted him or knew who he was once or twice is funny, but at this point, it’s obnoxious. We didn’t know who he was becuase producers chose not to show us much and it’s not that people didn’t want or didn’t like Clayton, it’s that we saw him get picked over several well-liked Black men in the final four. No matter how many self-deprecating jokes production gets Clayton to make, we ain’t forgetting what’s what.
We get a recap of Clayton’s life thus far and see pretty much the entirety of the footage of him from Michelle’s season. He’s reading the letters the fifth graders “wrote” for him, we see him breaking down and begging for a family and a wife which leads us to why he’s the Bachelor today. He really wants this y’all.
Sidenote: Why does the intro card look like what we’d get on Bachelor in Paradise? Did they not take a good enough photo of Clayton? This is weird.
The first episode is always so chaotic, there’s a lot going on and so much to cover. I’m still relatively new to recapping Bachelor Nation shows, so I’m going to play with the outline a bit this season. I’d deeply appreciate any feedback or thoughts you have about it! No thought or opinion is irrelevant. I don’t want to get so bogged down giving the play-by-play each episode that my voice gets lost in the recaps. I assume my voice is why you’re reading after all!
Intro Packages
We got a lot of intro packages. Like, way too many it seemed. But we haven’t gotten these professionally produced intros in a while, so I get wanting to show as many as possible.
A few of the intros stuck out to me specifically. Shanae came in hot and also showed off her hometown with one stoplight. I have so many questions for the parents of kids who grow up in towns this small, mostly I just want to know what was the reason?
Rachel’s package stood out too, she’s a pilot, she’s spent six years in flight school and we see her in a hanger, which is cool. We’ve gotten so many men in hangers throughout this franchise, so it’s nice to have a woman show them how it’s done. Rachel's intro package was also stellar because she straight-up admits she doesn’t know shit about Clayton. Gotta love the honesty!
Elizabeth’s package stuck out to me for all the wrong reasons. She’s doing too much, she was giving million dollar listing, but making no sales, she was giving drinks her morning coffee out of a girl boss mug, she was giving I’m here because HGTV didn’t greenlight my pilot. It was a lot, but we love a woman with her own money. Good for you, Elizabeth.
The Salley Foolishness
Time for Clayton to meet the women. They’re getting ready and talking about how excited they are. Then, some night one mess that only producers could have cooked up begins. We pan to previously engaged Salley and she’s crying becuase it’s the weekend she was supposed to be getting married. She says she wants to be excited, but she isn’t and wants to be with her family. So she goes and talks to Clayton, a man she’s literally never met before, about this deeply personal and traumatic thing she’s going through. Makes total sense.
Clayton opens the door like “Who the fuck is this?” Salley sits down and launches into her entire previous relationship, she said she was excited when she first heard it was him (Why sis? We ain’t know nothing about him, so neither did you). Salley says she feels weird being there the week of her wedding, but sis knew the start date when she signed up to be part of this circus. Listen, as someone who canceled their wedding in 2020, I too was a mess and very emotional the day of my would-be wedding. I understand the tears, I understand the feelings she’s describing completely. What I don’t understand is pivoting so quickly to apply and go on this show only to pivot again and excuse yourself.
Of course, we aren’t getting this entire segment for no reason. Clayton begins sharing his struggles with a breakup that he struggled to move on from. He starts lying to her to get her to stay, and says there could be something between them. Already the producers are setting up Clayton for some mess. Why would anyone want to start a relationship like this? Going to his room unannounced, emotionally dumping on him, lying about the chemistry they have? Girl, get the fuck on.
Like a good company man, Clayton goes and gets a rose to give to her (which I am very sure was encouraged by production). Salley isn’t sure she should accept the rose. She takes a minute and is on the phone with someone, we don’t get to know who. She tells the person on the phone she was ready to go home and just wanted to say bye (again, why you don’t know this man), but Clayton bringing out the rose changed everything for her. She begins breaking down to production and for the fifth time mentions the man she was supposed to marry and how hard the decision she has to make is. She comes back to his room and says she wants to accept the rose, but that her heart isn’t in the right place. I respect her honesty, but I don’t love that she came on the show just for this eight minutes of mess. I have no doubt we’ll see her in Paradise, assuming she doesn’t get back with her ex-fiancé.
Clayton worries that Salley rejecting his rose is just an omen for how the rest of the night/season could go. He said something important at this moment, “Love is a two-way street.” That’s a great mindset to have going into a process like this. While I know nothing about being the lead of a dating show, as a viewer, something that is often lacking from the lead is an understanding that the contestants have to choose them back. That was clearest during Colton’s season, where multiple women seemed to self exit when they realized he wasn’t right for them. I hope Clayton remembers this as the season progresses. It isn’t just about who he’s choosing, it’s about who is choosing him back too.
Limo Entrances
Time for night one. Clayton is in a nice blue suit, the women are toasting in their limos, and Jesse Palmer is playing his role of host perfectly. I’m frustrated they didn’t allow Tayshia and Kaitlyn to be hosts in the way Chris was and the way Jesse is being. We rarely saw them talking to the camera directly, they were always painted as the cool, wise older sisters, which was a great dynamic to watch, but also always felt like it took away a bit of their power to command the audience. It’s unfair. Also, Seeing Jesse and Clayton on screen at the same time is a mind fuck. Two slices of white bread.
Overall, I was unimpressed with these limo entrances. I got the feeling many of the women were encouraged to say or do some raunchy or stupid things but went against that advice last minute. There’s no other explanation for why so many of them said a basic hello instead of doing something more. Ency, Teddi, and Rachel were my favorite entrances. If you’re into harsh first impression judgments, here are the unfiltered notes I took for the other women.
Sarah. Oh my god, she’s so skinny. Wrong shoes. Sarah was a Clemson tiger, which was Mizzou’s fake rival/sister school, so the tiger tokens were a cute touch.
Lyndsey W. Bad joke about how tall he is. Is he that tall? (I looked it up, he’s 6’ 5”)
Genevieve. All these women choose the wrong shoes.
Ency, half Persian, half Korean, speaks Korean and she says something about finding a friendship with him before finding romantic love. This show isn’t set up for that, but nice sentiment Ency.
Susie. Denys the hug, I love it. I too am not a hugger Susie.
Claire. She forwent a weird limo exit to get him to go find her later, good move. Hope it works.
Serene. Again, so tiny! Clayton calls her beautiful.
Teddi. YES, NATURAL HAIR. Clayton says he makes her feel some type of way. Does Clayton quietly have a thing for Black women?
Tessa. Spells Asset backward, I know that’s right!
Lindsay D. How did you know this is where you belonged when you heard it was Clayton? What did you see from him sis?
Daria looks better in photos.
THIS DRESS. Stunning Kate. Bringing alcohol to take a shot with Clayton, great move. She called it aggressive, but I don’t think so.
Sierra claimed to be his wife from the future…okay…?
Melina, you better get that product placement!
Some girl asked him to open a jar of pickles? Do better babes. We don’t need men for that anymore.
Jill, ashes of your ex? Too creepy.
Marlena is just as fine as she was in the photos
Jane, a cougar? She’s 33. Fuck this franchise.
Holly???? Ahh, a wing woman for the pilot and teasing the senior Bachelor season coming up (allegedly) love that for both the franchise and Rachel!
Ivana doesn’t say shit to him, not even her name. She’s going home.
Kira is too smart for this show.
Mara and this spicy language, why are we using these words for Latinx contestants only? It’s giving stereotype, it’s giving racist.
Some girl wanted to sit on his face, another brought a whip.
Samantha, baby girl they done made you look like a fool.
Cassidy…boring.
Shanae leading with being from a small town and a pickup truck? Not for me.
Cocktail Party
Clayton is already saying his future wife is in the room and that feels like too much to be saying off rip. He enters the mansion and is honest about being nervous. He’s just a guy from a small town in Missouri, he’s “so humbled” and believes that he can find love during this process and tells the women he wants to get down on one knee. It was really nice to see them back in the mansion, I missed the backdrops and continuity of it and if I’m being honest, those hotels were starting to all look the same, but not in a good way.
My girl Susie (who I liked for him based on the bios) grabs him first. She’s cute, I like her vibe, she seems confident, she kicks ass, what’s not to like? She asks Clayton how he’s feeling and I love that. I love when people ask the lead how they are and where they’re at. Susie says she lives her life outside of her comfort zone and girl, just like Clayton I could use some of that! I could see them balancing one another out.
He sits with a few other women, but none of the conventions strike me as important.
When Clayton sits down with Teddi, something shifted. She talks a lot and talks fast. As she sits with Clayton, she admits that she was looking at the bios of Michelle’s men and choose him from the lineup, basically admitting she’d go on the show if it was him. Clayton is flattered and she gets the first kiss! A Black girl gets the first kiss! I screamed while watching, this is my Monday night football, ok?!
I did feel a little something when they were on screen together. It seemed like they connected and the conversation flowed. Teddi strikes me as someone who is very confident. The two of them spoke with one another like they already knew each other. She did tell us that she was a virgin in her intro package, so I’m curious if that comes into play later in the season. I hope not, enough with the virgin plot lines. It’s not that deep.
I noticed something about Clayton that I can’t quite put into words, but hopefully, I’ll name it better as the season progresses. Clayton seems like one of those men who might not have a type per se but is attracted to the strength and confidence Black women often exude. I’m not saying that women of other races aren’t confident, but there is a swagger Black people have, it’s a vibe we have, I think Clayton is attracted to that and it might not even be conscious.
Kira gets the second kiss, and at this point, the Black girls are killing it!
As Clayton gets to know these women more, we learn two new things about him: He likes wings over flats (because who enjoys eating food with obstacles) and he’s an Oakland Raiders fan, which is interesting, why not the Rams?
After playing cornhole with Clayton, Claire starts talking about how he is not her guy. She said she’d eat him up and spit him out, that she’s not into dating an all-American guy. She’s talking mad shit so openly and I love it, but when the women ask her if she’s going to name that the vibes are off with Clayton, she says no, which is lame. If you gon talk shit Claire, say it with your chest. Also, one game of corn hole and you hate him? Damn sis, give wonder bread a chance. What’s worse is she’s not talking about this in her interviews with producers, she’s saying it to the other women. So either she’s too drunk and has forgotten what show this is and what producers do to “villains” like her, or she really does not give a fuck about the repercussions.
The other women grow concerned with Claire’s lack of honesty with Clayton and encourage him to speak with her. He and Claire go to chat and she denies saying she hated him, he then clearly walks her out but we don’t see the conversation they had. I want to know what was said and I hope she puts that on social.
After dismissing Clare, Clayton takes the opportunity to tell the women that if they feel he isn’t the one for them, that they can leave. The way he did it made him look like he lacked confidence. I understand he couldn’t have an attitude like Katie Thurston or Hannah Brown did when they told dudes to get the fuck out. Even though it’s a double standard, it would have made Clayton look so bad to yell at women, especially on night one. The women assure him they aren’t going anywhere. One of the women even says that Claire made it about herself and it’s not about her, its about Clayton. I disagree, it’s about these women too. Claire went about her dislike of Clayton wrong, she was unnecessarily mean and then not honest when confronted, but if she felt like he wasn’t for her, she’s right to communicate it. It’s her journey too. Like I said earlier, the final woman standing has to choose Clayton back.
Clayton gets one-on-one time with other women and at this point, I lose count of who he’s kissed. He clearly just likes to kiss, I bet physical touch is his love language. Either that, or it’s been a long pandemic, if ya know what I mean.
When it’s time to give out the first impression rose, the women all swear it’s Genevive and after seeing them bond over their parents’ long marriages, I definitely noticed a spark, but not enough to earn her the first impression rose. He pulls Teddi aside with the rose in his hand and she’s so giddy before he can even get out what he’s saying. He says he’s been thinking about her ever since she got out of the limo and feels that they have a clear connection. She even starts kissing him before he gives it to her, it’s the confidence for me honey! Clayton says Teddi’s got him feeling some type of way and we can all see it.
And now, it’s time for the rose ceremony.
Rose Ceremony
The sun is coming up, the women are lined up for the rose ceremony, they’ve touched up their makeup and are looking anxious about what their fate may be. Statistically speaking, getting past night one is the hardest feat of the season. Almost a third are cut each season at this point in the process. Clayton thanks the women for their time and again says he believes that his wife is in the room. I know production primes the lead to say these things, but night one feels like a bit much. Calm down wonder bread.
The first rose goes to Serene, followed by Susie, Eliza, Rachel, Ency, Sarah, Kate, Cassidy, Elizabeth, Kira, Shanae, Sierra, Mara, Marlena, Genevive, Melina, Gabby, Jill, Lyndsey W., Hunter, and Tessa gets the final rose after doubting if she’s a fit or good enough for this experience. I hated seeing her cry over this man and this experience. A few seasons of biracial Black people the last two years doesn’t make up for the fact that this franchise is systemically and historically racist.
Going home: Rianna, Ivana (should’ve shared her name during the limo exit), Daria, Hailey, Jane, Lindsay D., and Samantha in addition to Claire and Salley who went home earlier in the episode. I don’t think I’m missing anyone, but it’s difficult when they don’t give these women exit speeches the way they used to.
After the toast, we get this weird moment of all the women talking about supporting one another and being friends when we know damn well they about to fight to the (metaphorical) death for this slice of toast. Stop it. You don’t all have to be friends, you’re competing for the same man, some people’s feelings are going to get hurt.
Final Four Predictions
I thought it would be fun to predict Clayton’s final four after seeing how he interacted with the women in episode one.
Teddi
She wasn’t on my radar at all until tonight, but after seeing how they interact, I could see her making it to hometowns.
Susie
I liked her for Clayton in my precap and I still like her for Clayton. I think they’d balance each other out nicely.
Genevive
After the drama with Claire, Clayton grabbed Genevieve to talk. They bonded over their parents lasting marriages and wanting a family, so that seems promising. The women also expected her to get the first impression rose, so they clearly saw a spark that we haven’t yet.
Serene
I’m not confident in this choice. She got the first rose during the ceremony and they bonded a bit on night one. I’m thinking the fact that she’s a teacher, Clayton’s mom is a teacher, and them both being from the midwest might be enough for her to make it to hometowns? We’ll see.
That’s it for night one! So far these women seem great and into Clayton. Looking forward to watching how it all unfolds!