I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but I actually missed not having Bachelor content on my screen last week. I went to bed earlier and got to catch up on other shows with my partner, but something about Monday nights without Bach felt wrong!
We’re back this week with the drama held over from episode two involving Cassidy and her friend with benefits (FWB). Sierra is speaking to a group of women and sharing what Cassidy told her and Ency. According to Sierra, Cassidy’s FWB doesn’t want her romantically, so she came on the show to make him jealous. We didn’t see Cassidy saying this in the footage from a few weeks ago, but I’m not entirely sure what motivation Sierra would have to lie and be so specific in her lie.
Cassidy is unbothered. She’s as confident as she’s ever been, and even questions what Clayton could do at this point after finding out about her FWB. Clayton pulls Cassidy aside, he asks if she was seeing someone before coming on the show, she says no and that she hasn’t had a relationship since summer 2019. Clayton asks her again, she says she hasn’t spoken to any guy she’s wanted to have a relationship with for a very long time and questions if Clayton believes her.
Finally, Clayton mentions the specific info he has about Cassidy and she has the face of someone who just got caught in a lie. She admits to talking to a guy who wasn’t interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with her, but she doesn’t say who the guy is to her besides a friend. Clayton walks away, Cassidy is crying, cameras are chasing after her, it’s a lot.
Kira summed up the entire ordeal perfectly when speaking to the other women, this is all a game to Cassidy and she wants to win. I don’t care that Cassidy is treating it like a competition, because it is, but she’s done entirely too much throughout the ~72 hours she’s spent at the mansion.
After taking some time apart, Clayton finds Cassidy upstairs and finally, she shares that she had sex with an individual a few times before the show, but that she’s surprised by how much she’s “falling into something,” with Clayton. He decides that he doesn’t like that there’s been trust broken between them so early on and ultimately asks her to leave, she doesn’t take it well, she barely lets him speak and struggles through a tear-filled monologue about no other woman liking him as much as she does, all lies.
Hearing Clayton ask if he could take a rose back in the promos was satisfying and juicy, but this moment didn’t live up to the hype. We all knew Cassidy was going home.
I found Cassidy moderately annoying (her partner Shanae is much worse IMO) and thought she was dumb for sharing the semi-intimate details of a sexual relationship she was having with the women in the house. But at the end of the day, what she did before the show, doesn’t matter. According to TikTok Clayton had plenty of fun before the show as well. Not to mention, Clayton was ready to give Salley a rose before meeting any of the other women. And that was after she shared that she was supposed to be getting married that day and was unsure about continuing the process. Although it is likely that Clayton was nudged to offer Salley that rose, he could at least be consistent in how he feels about women who have prior entanglements (or in Salley’s case, a whole fucking engagement) before the show. Alas, Salley and Cassidy are now gone and the show must go on. I’m very confident we’ll see Cassidy on the beaches of Paradise.
In addition to Cassidy, Ency, Kate, and Tessa got sent home at the rose ceremony.
I See You
Before the next segment, we get a content warning, so I am going to give one as well. If you do not want to read about the date where the women were forced into oversharing difficult stories about body image and their relationship with food, skip ahead to the next divider line.
On the date: Serene, Susie, Eliza, Mara, Marlena, Hunter, Genevieve, Jill
The women enter a dark theatre where all we can make out are chairs set up in a circle. The lights go up and Kaitlyn Bristowe is standing in the center about to introduce my least favorite date in the franchise: the forced share your trauma group date.
I hate these dates. Trust and vulnerability are huge parts of a relationship, but these things are earned, not forced in front of a production crew, cameras, half a dozen women who are still strangers, a man who is also a stranger, and the knowledge that at least a few million people will watch you be your most vulnerable and judge you for it. I want production to do away with this date, it shouldn’t take women sharing about their body image issues, being emotionally abused, or anything else for Clayton to see them for who they are and respect them. Clayton and every lead that has been part of a date like this should have to put in the work to prove they’re trustworthy enough to hold a person’s story with care. Of all the things production does for shock value, or to humanize these contestants, this is the worst. It can be jarring and traumatic to unnerve some of the things these women share and they’re being forced to do so without anyone they can really trust nearby or even a phone call away.
Kaitlyn says she’s going to read a series of prompts, everyone is supposed to stand up if she reads a prompt that resonates. We only get to see Kaitlyn read one statement: Stand up if there are parts of yourself that you’re not proud of.
Everyone stands up. Clayton says in his last relationship he put a lot of walls up because he was afraid to be hurt again. He says he wishes he would’ve worked on himself and spent time unpacking those walls instead of hurting women in relationships where he wasn’t being himself.
Hunter shares a heartbreaking story about an ex who constantly pushed her to change her body. He compared her to other women, forced her to go to the gym to achieve a body that wasn’t realistic for her. She said she dyed her hair to a color he liked better and tried to get colored contacts becuase she didn’t have blue eyes. Ultimately, her ex cheated on her, which only made her more insecure. How awful.
What Marlena shared both struck a chord and confused me. She spoke about being a woman of color and having to be ten times better to be seen and heard. I teared up when she said this because it’s true. Women often do not get the respect they deserve, women of color have to navigate gender disparities and racial ones. It’s a lot.
Then Marlena told Clayton that she planned to come on the show and not mention race at all, which seems problematic? You’re a Black woman, on a historically white (and racist) show trying to find love with a white man. There are inherent differences there and I don’t understand how she expected a real relationship to blossom if she wasn’t going to bring up a large part of her identity.
I want to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume her comments were edited a bit, which changed the context, but the camera was on her face the entire time, at the very least, she said she didn’t plan to talk about race, why we don’t know. Clayton encouraged her to talk about it because it’s part of who she is and he’s right, but if Marlena takes him at his word and tries to have conversations about race, raising biracial children, etc. will he be open and ready to participate? Time will tell.
As the date comes to an end, Clayton opens up about his struggles with body image and how concerned he was about his weight growing up. I’m glad we’ve seen men talk about their body image issues more on this show in the last few seasons. It’s not often I want to hear men speak, but when it comes to this topic in particular, I hope we get more of it.
Not to sound too much like Shanae, but the date ends with this fake group hug and if we were forced to watch this weird trauma date, we could’ve at least gotten to hear KB read more statements. The conversation only touched on body image and in some ways, it felt tone-deaf. This show is notorious for showing us one type of woman and communicating that only women who look like that are beautiful. So for us to be shown these conversations about body image and to touch on diversity (race, hair color, upbringing, weight, etc.) on a show that has proudly upheld the status quo, even when picking contestants and leads of color, as a fat Black viewer with an afro, felt like a slap in the face. When do we get the segment where production/casting admits they uphold racist beauty standards by never casting any type of diversity (body, race, religion, disabilities) on their show?
It’s time for the evening portion of the date and so far Clayton’s fashions have flown under the radar and haven’t warranted much discussion, but were we in an episode of Laguna Beach? Why was he wearing a knit sweatshirt under a blazer? What’s going on in the dressing room? Who do we need to speak to?
Clayton has several one-on-one moments with the women, the most notable’s being with Susie. They don’t say much, but they have a steamy makeout and their chemistry is obvious.
Besides that, it felt like a lot of good discussions got cut. Much of his alone time with each woman felt like a repeat of the same, the women were shocked at how vulnerable everyone was, they were thankful to Clayton for opening up, they believe in the process. We get it! I know at least some of these women are asking him questions to get to know him and vice versa, show us those conversations!
Eliza gets the group date rose for “going above and beyond in every interaction.” All we saw her do was stand him in front of a mirror and compliment him???
Let’s move on.
Falling In Love Is Full Of Surprises
Sarah got the one-on-one date for the week and Clayton is in another terrible outfit. He’s wearing all pink and looks like a bottle of Pepto Bismol. Becca Kufrin is hosting the date and they’re doing a scavenger hunt with no clothes on. Personally, I would be mortified, but I loved seeing them dance together, and embrace the awkwardness that was this “scavenger hunt” (they didn’t even have to find anything, or solve riddles).
I feel like the producers are just here to fuck with Clayton and the women are being dragged into his mess.
Back at the mansion, we see the women lounging by the pool, cooking in the kitchen, and hanging out. I’ve always wanted to know what the women who don’t go on the dates do, more of this mundane content, please! The women seem to be relaxed and so Shanae takes it upon herself to make up yet another issue with Elizabeth. Elizabeth cooked shrimp for the house and offered it to whoever wanted some. Shanae is one of the first people to hop up and get some, but also makes it a point to talk shit about Elizabeth who made the shrimp that she’s eating! How that work?
I feel like Shanae woke up in a bad mood the morning of the Ziwe group date and decided it was Elizabeth’s fault, so now if anything else goes wrong during her journey, it’s going to be Elizabeth’s fault. Shanae even tried to do the right thing by making more shrimp after eating most of what Elizabeth made, but because all the women didn’t acknowledge Shanae for making more shrimp, Elizabeth is ungrateful and rude? Shanae, sis, get a fucking grip.
Sarah and Clayton are headed to dinner at the Van Gogh experience (which I highly recommend). He tells Sarah that spending the day with her showed him how she’d be under pressure or in situations when they don’t have the answers and they have to figure it out together. A bit of stretch, but okay Clayton.
We get background on who Sarah is. She was a transracial adoptee, she’s part Vietnamese, Irish, and French and her adoptive parents are white, so she always looked different from her family growing up. She talks about how she grew up feeling ashamed that she was adopted. Even though she appreciates what her adoptive family has done, she carries that hurt with her. I especially appreciated how she tied her story to how it might impact her relationship with Clayton. She says her being adopted is always going to be part of her and it affects the way she makes decisions and how she moves through the world. It was important to name that. Sometimes white people believe that naming their racial differences from other groups of people is enough, but what actually makes those experiences different is that it informs everything we do, the decisions we make, how we see the world, and how the world sees us.
Clayton thanks her for sharing and says something about having issues and problems too. I tuned out his response, to be honest. Michelle set a new bar for how to respond in tough conversations or things you can’t relate to on this show and I know no one else will likely meet that expectation, which is unfortunate for us as viewers.
Sarah gets the date rose and says it is the beginning of something special.
Back at the house, the date card for the second group dates arrives, the women are going to the beach and as so excited. Except for Shanae, she still hates Elizabeth and really wants us to know that.
Loves a Beach
On the date: Gabby, Rachel, Kira, Malena, Lyndsey, Sierra, Teddi, Elizabeth, Shanae
Half of these women are not dressed for the beach, bodycon dresses, jackets with chains, jeans. All the clothing choices were off this episode.
Nicole Eggert from Baywatch drives up on an ATV and tells the women they are going to do a series of lifeguard training activities, the winner gets extra alone time with Clayton.
My biggest takeaway from the day portion of this date: Gabby is fucking hilarious. She doesn’t seem to take herself too seriously and just likes to have fun. She’s a breath of fresh air. She might be this seasons Rodney, we love to see it.
Gabby ends up winning the date and extra time with Clayton. Of course, Shanae is pissed, she “busted her ass” running in slow-mo and putting two dabs of sunscreen on Clayton’s nipples, how dare she not be selected as the group date winner.
We get yet another bad outfit choice as the group settles in for the second half of their date. Clayton has on this awful leather jacket that has this crinkled effect and it’s a button-down. It’s trendy but doesn’t seem like his vibe. I don’t remember how he dressed on Michelle’s season, but it must have been fine. Fine enough for me to never comment on, better than what we’re getting now.
Clayton and Rachel share a moment where she came off a little insecure, which is expected when you’re competing against 20 other beautiful women, but we haven’t seen much of them together before this moment, so to see them talk about the connection they have was unexpected. Where’s the footage of them getting to know one another and connecting? Show us ABC! Clayton tells her not to worry about what other women are saying and says there’s something special between them. They were looking awfully cozy.
We should’ve known the good moments weren't going to last for long. Shanae pulls Clayton and immediately brings up her issues with Elizabeth even though Clayton clearly told them both to handle it amongst themselves. She uses the word bully to describe how she’s being treated in the house and I am legit confused. Are we not seeing something? Are the women ignoring her becuase of her connection to Cassidy? What does she expect Clayton to do about this?
Clayton says he doesn’t want that to take away from their time together, essentially ending the conversation. Also, the quickness in which Shanae goes from crying to smiling and making out is concerning and creepy. White women have a very long history of lying/crying and then cleaning their face up with a swiftness once they get their way. I don’t like that game. Shanae is being nasty and mean in her interviews with producers and has nothing, but tears and stutters when talking to Clayton or called out by the women.
Next, Elizabeth sits down with Clayton. He asks for her take on what she’s experiencing in the house. Clayton didn’t look at Elizabeth once when explaining the issues Shanae has been having. It’s like he knows it’s bullshit. Elizabeth handles it well, she essentially says she’s too grown for this shit (and is!), but then she starts crying and unraveling. She’s sobbing and Clayton is staring at her until he eventually asks her to hash it out with Shanae for a second time.
At this point, he’s entertained this too long. I wish he would’ve just gotten them together, forced them to talk face to face, and walked away. Then Elizabeth could’ve pulled out that “Did you make fun of me for having ADHD, yes or nah?”
As if that’s not enough, we found out Shanae shared that Lyndsey was bullying her too. Sierra, who is beginning to prove she is the only one who can call people out to their face, decides to confront Shanae and ask what the issue is and who is bullying her. Shanae doesn’t have an answer, an example, or anything else. She’s talking in circles. In situations like this, all you can do is control yourself and how you react to situations, so if the women really don’t fuck with Shanae and are bullying her (which I doubt—we use this word too freely on this show) then toughen up buttercup.
In the midst of waiting for an explanation from Shanae, Clayton gives the group date rose to Gabby, and to absolutely no one’s surprise, Shanae insults Gabby in her interview with the producers.
Before leaving Clayton says he’s going to address the entire house about everything that was brought to his attention on the group date. Meaning he’ll be addressing the alleged bullying in the house, but based on the previews for next week he does nothing to remove those involved (namely Shanae) from the house.
The last thing we get before next week’s previews is Shanae making yet another rude comment about Elizabeth’s ADHD. She is a mess and not even an entertaining one to watch, she has no backbone and isn’t manipulative or creative enough to have some of the women’s trust or even Clayton’s.
How exhausting.