Hello! Happy Monday and Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m in the giving mood, so I decided to drop this recap tonight, although I’m sure absolutely none of you are actually reading it as it drops. Still, consider it a VDay gift from me 😊.
Also, I’m officially too into this show and ABC needs to run me a check because when my partner asked about Valentine’s Day plans a few weeks ago, I told him I’d be “busy watching the Bachelor” 🥴. I’m not proud, but at least I’m honest. On to the recap!
We pick up where we left off, with the two-on-one drama. The women are at the hotel in Toronto discussing what they think will happen. They expect at least one suitcase to be removed from the hotel suite.
Shanae and Genevieve are at Niagara Falls. Clayton chats with Genevieve first and she shares that the week has been difficult for her. She immediately starts fake crying (we see exactly one single tear fall) and shares how hard it’s been knowing that this date with Shanae was coming. She maintains that she’s on the show for the right reasons and she’s trying to be vulnerable. Clayton does what he does best, comforts her by making out. This man does not know how to be emotionally supportive. He’s also likely doesn’t see either of these women as viable options.
Next up, Clayton and Shanae chat about what’s going on in the house. Shanae says everything seems to be okay and then immediately pivots to lying about Genevieve wanting to go home. She masterfully plants seeds of doubt in Clayton’s head (something she’s done for weeks now) about Genevieve. Y’all this psycho literally takes what she’s been doing for weeks and says that Genevieve has been doing it instead. To be sure Clayton was convinced, SHE STARTS FAKE CRYING AGAIN! It seems like Clayton believes her, which is just sad. We can question whether production made him keep Shanae, but Clayton is clearly attracted to her, even if he doesn’t see her as his wife. He’s sexually attracted to her and so his common sense goes out the window when those fake ass tears weld up in her eyes.
The three come back together and Clayton says he only has one rose to give. He takes the crumbs Shanae left for him and asks Genevieve if she’s an actress and she looks dumbfounded. She questions where it came from and Clayton sits there acting silly as fuck like Shanae didn’t just load that bullshit right into his ear. He steps away to gather his thoughts. What do you have to step away for Clayton? What’s not clicking? YOU GOT PLAYED, BRO.
Shanae shares with Genevieve that she overheard her being frantic the night before, so she took it upon herself to assume she would be self eliminating before the two-on-one becuase of the stress. The women question one another’s intentions and Clayton returns after getting some god damn sense knocked into him. He gives Genevieve the rose. Hallelujah! No more Shanae shenanigans!
Back at the house, someone comes and removes Shanae’s baggage and the women erupt with excitement. They’re crying, popping champagne, cheering Genevieve’s name. Hilarious.
Shanae is “blindsided” and disgusted, she’s left to take the ferry alone and in true villain (and Karen) fashion, she melts down and calls Clayton all kinds of bleeped out names. The final interview/voiceover will always reveal your true colors. We already knew Shanae wasn’t shit, but her turning on Clayton for her final act is truly poetic.
Cocktail Party, Sans Drama
The women are so happy Shanae is gone, you can see it in their energy, Clayton can feel it as the cocktail party begins, everyone is ready to move on and work on their relationships with him.
Sarah grabs Clayton first to see how he’s feeling about his decision to send Shanae home. He admits letting go of her was more difficult than he expected, but it felt right. Sarah reminds him that she’s there for him and her feelings are growing for him. She is really cute and they seem to be connected, but it seems surface level. Sarah wants to know more about Clayton and connect on that deeper level, but Clayton isn’t quite reciprocating. Honestly, Clayton is pretty bad at empathy. I’ve picked up on it the last few episodes, but now that his top women have emerged, I’m shocked at how much he still lacks empathy even for them. He seems to struggle relating to women who come from a background he can’t relate to, which is why despite him seeming attracted to the women of color this season, I think he’ll end up with a white woman. If he ends up with anyone at all.
Moving on to Clayton’s number one (IMO) Rachel, they’re again talking about how strong their connection is. At this point, it’s been established that their connection is strong, I’d love to see more of their conversations. If Rachel is maintaining that she’s never felt this way before and that they fall deeper and deeper each week, we need to see those conversations. I’ve said it already, but their physical connection and chemistry are palpable, you can’t miss it. But beyond the physical, why are they drawn to one another? What shared values do they have? What life experiences do they have in common?
I’m watching this after a weekend bingeing Love Is Blind season two and I can’t help, but compare the conversations we got from those couples to Clayton’s conversations with these women. Even when speaking to women he’s clearly in to, the conversation is just not that great.
We finally get some moments between Mara and Clayton, they’re eating poutine and trying to find a connection over food, when Serene comes and interrupts them. Mara allows Serene to cut in but gets upset because it means less time with him to build a connection. This is the most normal cocktail party they’ve had since week two and Mara has exclusively been on group dates, so I’m sure she feels behind.
Despite not getting much time with Clayton over the last few weeks, Mara secures a rose. Unfortunately, my girl Marlena and Hunter who both had on beautiful emerald green dresses, get sent home.
It’s time for a new destination and this time, they’re actually crossing an ocean to get there. The women and Clayton are headed to Hvar, Croatia!
A Rainy Day in Hvar
It’s a new week and the final nine women are exploring their new Croatian home. Clayton meets up with the women to take one of them on a one-on-one. Finally, Teddi gets a one-on-one, I was worried Clayton had forgotten about her. Mara is hurt that she wasn’t chosen, she feels she’s wife materials and wants the opportunity to show it. A note that these women always seem to forget: literally anyone can be a wife. Anyone can get married. Clayton’s choice to overlook what particular women can “offer” doesn’t mean they aren’t wife material, but that they aren’t meant to be his wife. I’m sure it doesn’t feel like that in the moment, but the narrative that some women are wives and some aren’t is sad.
Teddi and Clayton are exploring the city, stopping at merchant booths, grabbing ice cream, and sightseeing. Teddi is in her ITM talking through her nerves and wondering if she and Clayton will connect more deeply this late in the experience. She says she has something important to share with him during dinner and we know it is likely going to involve her choice to be a virgin.
Headed into the dinner portion of the date Teddi is wearing a beautiful floral dress and her hair looks great too. Clayton thanks her for her patience in waiting for a one-on-one.
As expected, Teddi shares that she’s a virgin and felt pressured to wait because her mom had a child as a teenager and that acted as a cautionary tale for what could happen if she had sex before she was ready/before marriage. As viewers, we already knew she didn’t plan on waiting until marriage, but that it is important for her to be in love with the person she decides to sleep with for the first time. Clayton doesn’t seem turned off by this news. He does, however, zero in on the fact that she’s never been in love and wants to know how she will know if she’s in love. Teddi says safety and trust are two important factors. She also shares that she knows she has to lean into being vulnerable in order to let herself fall in love. An awkward observation: During most of their conversation, there was no music playing behind their dialogue and it was weird. Not sure it means anything, but it was definitely noticeable.
In his interview with producers, Clayton acknowledges that the idea of being many of Teddi’s firsts is exciting, but also that it holds a certain amount of weight and he takes that seriously.
Back at the house, a date card arrives and Mara is hoping to be on it. She, Eliza, and Genevieve are the only women left who haven’t been on a one-on-one, but instead of offering the date to one of them, they’re all going on the group date for the week. Sarah gets her second one-on-one of the season and this is the first time the women aren’t excited for one another. The tension is thick. I am surprised to see Sarah getting a second one-on-one before someone like Rachel or Susie and I especially hate that it’s coming before Clayton has one with any of the three women who haven’t had that time with him yet. I never understand this choice. If you feel confident or curious enough in your connections to start giving out second one-on-ones then send the women who haven’t gotten them home! They’re clearly not on your radar.
The Ultimate Knight
On the date: Serene, Rachel, Susie, Gabby, Eliza, Genevieve, Mara
Clayton announces that it is the first group date without Shanae and he’s looking forward to a drama-free day. Mara has slept off her hurt and is approaching the day with optimism.
The women are learning about what it takes to be a knight. They get dressed up in warrior suits and participate in a series of challenges, the most disrespectful being the one where they have to eat random cultural foods. They’re not really forced to eat anything explicitly the way contestants have been in the past. The white women tap out pretty quickly, but Serene and Mara decide to give just about everything a try.
Can we stop these Fear Factor dates? I’m not familiar enough with Croatian culture to know if these are true delicacies in that area of the country, but even pretending that they are seems problematic. During dates like this, I always go back to what the show claims to be about—finding love—then I ask myself how these particular dates help make that possible. Answer: they don’t. What I’d rather see is contestants make cultural dishes from their own families and have Clayton try them. Can he handle the spice? Does he have an appreciation for good seasoning? Would he make a good amateur sous chef?
For the final challenge, the women have to get on one knee and share their feelings for Clayton. They all pretty much say the same thing and then Mara performs a cute poem that sets her apart from the rest. Despite her great delivery in the final challenge, Serene is named the true knight of the group. She and Clayton get some alone time and they use it to make out.
It’s time for the after-party and Clayton is going into the night thinking about which women he wants to take to hometowns. He pulls Rachel firsts and essentially asks if she wants him to meet her family. We’re going on week three of Rachel whispering all of her words to Clayton and it’s getting weird. It was cute at first, but now Imma need sis to put some bass in her voice. She shares she’s falling for Clayton and pretty much solidifies her hometown ticket.
Clayton gets moments with several of the other women before sitting down with Mara. She shares that she feels like she’s giving so much, but she hasn’t gotten much time with him and she’s hurt. Unfortunately, she’s questioning Clayton’s choices instead of leading with how she feels. It becomes about women not being mature enough and ready for marriage instead of about Mara’s feelings for Clayton. She’s talking in circles about how “some women” have said they can’t picture themselves married at the end of this. Clayton asks if she’s referring to Sarah and Mara lets him believe that Sarah is the one saying she isn’t ready.
Both Mara and Clayton missed the mark for me at this moment. Mara was communicating that she wanted more attention and time with him and that she didn’t understand why he was giving it to other women, but not her. Instead of responding to that piece and staying focused on the relationship between the two of them, Clayton tries to sus out who might not be there for him while also quietly admitting that he’s not into Mara.
Listen, it’s hard to talk about your feelings and be vulnerable with a guy you barely know, but Mara’s mistake was making her feelings of insecurity about Clayton’s choices. Am I convinced 23-year-old wealth manager Sarah is ready for marriage? Not really. But she seems to like him and we’ve seen her open up and exhibit a willingness to try and that has to count for something. Even if Sarah or other women aren’t ready for marriage two months after meeting Clayton, that’s actually a pretty normal response.
Mara is 32, which I understand is “old” for this show, but it’s actually incredibly young as well. It is likely she has more life experience and has dated more men and therefore knows more of what she’s looking for in a relationship, that’s great! But all of that can be true and Clayton can still not be her man. At the end of the day, Clayton doesn’t seem into her and this was his opportunity, to be honest about that.
Mara hoped her warnings for Clayton would land her the group date rose, but instead Rachel gets her third group date rose of the season. Mara is understandably disappointed.
Back at the hotel, Clayton hears a knock at the door and gets his own date card asking him to meet at the clock tower. He heads there and Susie is waiting for him. He’s excited to see her. Susie wanted to do something to share how she was feeling for him. She says it has been hard to watch Clayton form connections with other women and that she can feel herself putting up walls to avoid getting hurt. She shares that she’s falling in love with him and he says hearing that is the happiest he’s been during this journey. It’s likely she too secured her spot to hometowns with this confession.
For the Right Reasons
Clayton and Jesse meet up and chat about what Mara shared with him. Clayton’s worried that he’ll start falling for someone who doesn’t feel the same way. Jesse validates his feelings (a concept) and also encourages him to keep his heart open and see where it leads. Now Clayton is overly focused on Sarah’s age, which is fair, but where was this energy when you first found out her age? I cannot believe how easily swayed Clayton is, it’s giving spineless, it’s giving insecure, it’s giving no mind of his own.
At the end of the day, he has to make the decision on who to choose on his own. He has to want that, he has to put in the work to make it last, it’s not about what anyone else thinks about the relationship. You’re on a national TV show babes, everyone is going to have an opinion about who you end up with. He’s gotta be confident in the choices he’s making and clearly is not. The fact that these women can say one thing that gets into his head, makes it seem as if he’s the one who isn’t ready for marriage.
Clayton sits down for dinner with Sarah and shares that he heard that she might not be ready for marriage and Sarah is shook. She says she feels the exact opposite, she sees a future with him, she came on the show because it was him, and she believes there’s something between the two of them. It’s so awkward that while she’s crying, he is stale-faced. Literally emotionless. Does Clayton lack emotional intelligence?
This was hard to watch. To see her cry so much while he doesn’t attempt to comfort her at all is awkward. I wouldn’t want my potential husband to not know how to comfort me when I’m pouring my heart out and being vulnerable.
Even if Sarah’s tears are fake, and I’m not sure they were, his lack of response should’ve been enough to turn her off. To me, this was her age showing. She seemed so scared to lose him, but couldn’t step back long enough to question if she was ok with the fact that her man was so easily rattled by a baseless rumor.
Sometimes, I think these women forget that they aren’t just competing, but that they’re interviewing Clayton too. Being chosen is nice, but sis does he fit into your life? Does who he is and what he’s able to give (emotionally, physically, financially, whatever) work for you?
Sarah is spiraling, she’s upset that Clayton is questioning her intentions. She tells Clayton that the timing of another woman bringing this up is convenient and she doesn’t want it to be the reason she goes home. Their entire date centers around this rumor because he doesn’t have a mind of his own. He pretty much admits this when offering Sarah the rose. I can’t believe we got 10 awkward minutes of Sarah crying only for her to still end up with a rose. People might believe in the love stories production is trying to sell if they just gave us fewer tears and more “small moments” (to borrow Michelle’s words).
Sarah is headed back to the hotel with a vengeance and an ax to grind. It really seems like next week that attitude will put a target on her back. I get the reaction though, I too like to have the last word, and getting the date rose wouldn’t have been enough to shut me up either. Not when you’re coming for my relationship.
Looks like Mara and Sarah will have some sort of confrontation and that the other women might call Sarah out too. At this point, I’m ready for hometowns and to see who Clayton is talking to when he says he’s been intimate with two different women and is in love with three of them. Now, that is going to be some true mess!