My mouth is still wide open from that episode and the preview we got at the end. There was so much mess, still so much confusion, and I was shocked by who all went home this week! But some things don’t change, Mara was still misplacing her anger at the wrong person, and even in an episode where we saw Clayton make some very decisive moves, he also managed to prove that he still lacks the discernment needed to be a husband and start a family (in my opinion).
We’re at the hotel in Croatia and the women are discussing Sarah’s connection with Clayton. Mara uses this as an opportunity to say Sarah isn’t ready for marriage (again) and that it’s unfair that she and Eliza haven’t gotten one-on-ones yet. The consensus among the women is that they’d be ok if she didn’t come back.
Meanwhile, we get Sarah in her interview with producers mad as fuck that a woman tried to sabotage her relationship with Clayton. I understand her anger and in a season that has seemed void of real emotion, it’s nice to see someone on this damn show get mad.
Sarah enters the hotel suite where the laides are and asks which of the women tried to make her look bad. Based on her ITM, I thought she was going to come in guns blazing, which probably would not have gone over well. Instead, she approached the women firmly, but mostly kind.
Mara owns up to speaking about Sarah in a round about way. She doesn’t admit to naming Sarah, but she does take another opportunity to remind us that she’s ready for an engagement and Sarah isn’t.
Do these women understand that they’re allowed to be mad at the lead? They’re allowed to pushback and question him. Sarah and Mara’s feelings are valid. But Sarah probably should’ve been bothered that Clayton would take someone else’s word over hers. Mara likely should’ve been more upset with Clayton for not giving her attention, time, and a one-on-one.
Clayton can’t help who his heart wants, but he can control who goes home. If he wasn’t interested in the women who hadn’t received a one-on-one, he should’ve sent them home! Don’t drag them from country to country where they’re mostly spending time in their hotel room, or rehashing their feelings in front of a camera. That’s not fun. There’s no way we should’ve been going into the week before hometowns with nine women.
Cocktail Party + Rose Ceremony #1
Going into the cocktail party, these women are nervous about who may be going home.
Clayton pulls Serene first to take a moment to acknowledge what she shared during their one-on-one about her cousin’s untimely death. Instead of real fireflies, he’s filled mason jars with twinkle lights to show he was listening to the happy memory Serene shared.
This was a sweet sentiment, but also weird? Does saying that make me an asshole? It’s not my cousin, nor my memory so I’m trying not to judge too much. But at the end of the day, it’s a mason jar with lights in it that were likely ordered from Amazon. Also, did Clayton really think of this on his own, or did production set this up to push his relationship with Serene a bit further?
He shares quick moments with Susie and Rachel, who I’m convinced will be here until the end. Then, drama ensues.
Mara asks to speak to Sarah to address her “last ditch effort” comment. Mara was offended, she calls it insensitive and says it rubbed her the wrong way. Again, she’s zeroing in on the wrong person and worried about the wrong things. I get it, it’s much easier to go after a 23-year-old than it is to admit to feeling insecure and unseen. But the lack of time she and Clayton have had together is on Clayton and production, not Sarah.
While Mara and Sarah are talking the women are trying to listen nearby to hear what’s being said. Sarah seems confused by most of what Mara is accusing her of. As the women are listening in, Rachel sides with Mara saying that Sarah had been coming off cocky lately as if she’d be Clayton’s final choice. We’re not seeing these comments and conversations, but we later find out that many of the women were feeling some type of way and Mara was the only one to say something.
Before Clayton begins handing out the roses, he says he had such a good week and praises the process saying he knows he’s going to be in love at the end of this (personally, I’m doubtful).
Susie gets the first rose, followed by Serene, Gabby, and the final rose goes to Genevieve who looks shocked and scared. That means, Eliza and Mara are going home.
The cynic in me always feels like the two weeks before hometowns is usually when we see the women of color who are left go home. This isn’t to say white women don’t get cut during these weeks too, they do. However, there was something so loud about seeing a hispanic woman and a Black woman, neither of whom got significant one-on-one time throughout the season, finally go home. It’s late in the game, so I knew it was coming, but it was still a bit jarring.
There was something so loud about seeing a hispanic woman and a Black woman, neither of whom got significant one-on-one time throughout the season, finally go home.
The Pretty Woman Date
It’s a new day and the women and Clayton are in Vienna, Austria, the last stop before hometowns. Which means three of these women still need to get cut. To help make that happen, Clayton has two one-on-ones and a group date lined up.
Susie is up first and gets my personal dream date: the shopping spree/Pretty Woman date.
I usually don’t call out date cards, but I have to acknowledge this one. It said “Falling in love with you feels like a fairytale.” I know Clayton doesn’t write these, but is this not him (or production) admitting in a round about way that he and Susie are in love with one another? I say yes. Only because Susie seems so dope.
Susie and Clayton meet outside the hotel and hop into this cool old school car to get around Vienna for their shopping date.
I’m just going to get this thought out of the way: just once I want to see a plus size woman or a woman of color get this date. No I won’t explain further, just give me what I want!
The couple gets an opportunity to meet Eva Poleschinski an Austrian designer that creates beautiful romantic gowns. The designer pulls several looks for Susie to try on. Clayton seems like he’s having more fun than Susie. The way he’s commenting on each dress and gassing Susie up is so cute.
Susie heads back to the hotel with a ton of shopping bags and shows the women what she got, the women are vocally jealous. As if seeing Susie gush isn’t enough, a man drops off a gorgeous red gown (which is apparently Clayton’s favorite color) from Clayton.
The evening portion of their date is at a literal palace. Their dinner conversation is kind of cheesy. Susie says she likes standing on her own and being independent and Clayton tells her that she’s still deserving of surprises and being showered with love from time to time. The conversation was disjointed. What we saw is likely not how it went down. It doesn’t really matter because we know Susie is headed to hometowns! Clayton gives her the date rose and they dance to Chris de Burgh.
Back at the hotel, a date card arrives and instead of the second one-on-one going to Genevieve, who hasn’t recieved one yet, it goes to Serene. Not a good sign for Genevieve.
A Lesson In How Not To Do Therapy
On the date: Sarah, Teddi, Genevieve, Rachel, Gabby
Clayton begins the date saying he’s not sure who he wants to take to hometowns. The women are meeting with a “psychoanalyst”—no disrespect to that woman, but one cannot be serious about their craft and choose to dilute it on a show as frivolous as The Bachelor—and will each get an opportunity to have a “couples therapy” session with Clayton.
Genevieve admits she’s avoided therapy becuase she doesn’t like opening up and talking about things that make her upset. That’s understandable, but also concerning for this particular process.
I’m very pro-therapy and very pro going to therapy and talking through your stuff before you bring all of that out in a relationship. Becuase it will happen, it always does.
Listen, I know what I’ve said about the forced trauma sharing and how that is unfair to expect that of contestants. I still feel that way, however, I think this being couched as couples therapy made it slightly better than what we got with Kaitlyn Bristowe earlier this season. In theory this was a trained professional, so I likened it to a housewives episode when we see a therapist share some parts of a session on TV and not others. But I may be giving this show way too much credit.
Should these women have to share their trauma unprompted? No, never. I did like that the show was introducing the idea of couples therapy as a healthy way to work through miscommunication and past trauma that could spill over into a romantic relationship with Clayton. Right idea, bad execution.
At the end of the day, it’s likely that this date turned viewers and a few women who participated in the date off from therapy and that sucks. I’d love for this show to stop making light of serious issues and to not downplay the hard stuff the women experience while on the show.
What did y’all think about this date?
Gabby
Gabby is up first. She spent her time talking about her warped perception of love and what it looked like growing up. She talks about her good relationship with her father, but her confusing relationship with her mother.
The therapist says Gabby needs to feel secure and stable in a relationship and she asks Clayton if he can provide that (!!!). I actually liked this brief moment! I was nervous these sessions would focus too much on what Clayton needed the women to do for him, so I was glad to see this alleged therapist center Gabby’s feelings. It pretty much went down hill from here though.
I didn’t mention this when Gabby first shared about her relationship with her mom, but I’m so glad we’re getting someone openly talking about setting boundaries with a family member that has harmed them. This franchise really pushes the nuclear family—white, middle class, a few kids, a dog and parents who have been together for decades—but there are so many ways to be a family. I’d like to see the show lean more into hometowns and dates with chosen family in the future and I suspect we’ll get some of that during Gabby’s hometown.
Teddi
Teddi is admitting that she’s trying to stay as open as possible. We don’t get much of their session and I’m pressed about it.
Genevieve
This one was hard to watch.
Almost immediately, Genevieve sits down and says she’s nervous and doesn’t like crying in front of people or expressing her feelings. The therapist tells her to try and there are these long pauses of silence. Eventually, she says she doesn’t know what’s going on inside of her head and that’s why she has nothing to share. Clayton says he wants to understand her, but it’s not possible if she doesn’t open up.
The couple exists the session to talk. Clayton shares that its hard for him to imagine meeting Genevieve’s family when she isn’t opening up to him. I would’ve loved to know what questions Clayton was asking to get to know her because if it’s anything like what he’s asking these other women, it’s not surprising he feels like he doesn’t know her. They agree they’ve run out of time and he sends her home.
I felt for Geneive. Her thoughts about therapy and reasoning for not wanting to open up were very relatable and it’s only been through therapy that I’ve started to get past that. But her caution also points to the issue with dates like this: vulnerability cannot be forced. Even in a sped up process such as this one, respect, vulnerability and trauma sharing should always be earned. The choice to share should happen in a safe space, not at the night time portion of a one-on-one date because you’re scared of going home.
I hope this experience didn’t turn Genevieve off of therapy for good, but I totally understand if she’s side-eyeing it.
Clayton walks Genevieve out and returns to the women to share that he’s sent Genevieve home. This basically serves as a cautionary tale of how “seriously” he’s taking this process.
Rachel
The therapist asks about how Rachel is getting along with the other women in the house. She says she’s been insecure at times and she’s scared of the idea of losing Clayton. Clayton tries to reassure her to just focus on their relationship. All leads say this, and I imagine there is a lot of truth to that advice, but in what was supposed to be a therapy session, Clayton could’ve given just a little bit more validation.
Sarah
Before heading into her session Sarah cues up the fact that she’s well versed in therapy and loves the introspection it provides.
While she’s in the session, the women talk about how Sarah has shared intimate details of her and Clayton’s relationship that they’ve felt was inappropriate. None of them give clear details, so we’re left to speculate.
The therapist asks Sarah if she’s ever felt judged by Clayton or the other women. She shares that getting the second one-on-one date put a target on her back and made her appear cocky to the other women. Instead of acknowledging what Sarah said, Clayton says some bullshit about focusing on their connection so they can grow.
At the end of the date, the therapist calls some of the sessions performative, which is a wild thing to hear a therapist say after meeting someone for the first time.
In her interview with production, Rachel says she knows it’s about Sarah and that she and the other women will have to address it.
At the night time portion Clayton admits that he lacks discernment. He’s thrown off by the therapist saying someone was performative. He asks the women to share with him who was fucking lying (he doesn’t say it like this, but trust me, this is what he meant) during the day time portion of the date.
Rachel shares that she began to get insecure about her connection with Clayton when Sarah got her first one-on-one date and came back and shared every detail of what happened on the date. Sarah allegedly said that Clayton and her cried together during their one-on-one. Clayton immediately denies this.
When will these women learn to stop sharing all their god damn business so early on in the process? First Claire said that Clayton sucked on night one, then Cassidy was running her mouth about her friend with benefits, and now we learn Sarah went on a date during the second week (?) and came home and ran her mouth.
Gabby, Rachel and Teddi all admit during their time with Clayton that Sarah’s oversharing has affected their confidence throughout the process. Teddi and Rachel even share that they thought about leaving.
Here’s what pisses me off about this entire thing: why didn’t anyone say anything sooner? Did the Shanae/Elizabeth drama really overshadow everything else? Did they not feel safe enough to share how they were feeling?
What about when Mara spoke up, why didn’t they back her up? I can understand that Mara was likely the wrong messenger for the info about Sarah, but based on Rachel and Teddi’s comments, they’ve been feeling some type of way since the first few weeks. Why not speak up, y’all want this man to be your husband and you can’t even tell him what’s what? Make it make sense!
We were led to believe that Mara was overreacting and speaking out of turn, but really, she was vocalizing what no one else would.
Clayton pulls Sarah next and shares what the other women have told him. He says he was caught of guard by the therapist calling someone performative and feels like those comments could be about her. Sarah denies what was said about her and begins fake crying. She shares that she too wanted to leave at one point.
When she finishes her bullshit, Clayton calls her out for fake crying and sends her home! Y’all, I screamed at my TV. All the fake tears we’ve seen on this show, this season alone and now Wonder Bread wants to call women out for fake crying? WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY WITH SHANAE FOR SIX FUCKING WEEKS?
Now Clayton wants to be on his introspective bullshit, trying to discern who’s there for him. In order to do that, he decides not to give out a group date rose. BOY BYE.
A Moment of Serene-nity
The second one-on-one of the week goes to Serene. She checks in on Clayton to see how he’s doing after sending someone he trusted home. Clayton is comforted by her concern. They’re exploring the city similar to Teddi’s date in Croatia last week. They’re trying food from street vendors, dancing (badly) and Serene tells producers she’s falling in love with him.
For the night time portion, we get another beautiful dinner at a palace. Serene shares that she doesn’t date a lot and it takes her a moment to warm up to someone and want to bring them home. Her and Clayton both had high school relationships that lasted into their early 20s, but they eventually grew apart from their respective partners. Clayton will be the first guy Serene is bringing home since her high school boyfriend. She also tells Clayton that she’s falling in love with him and that seems to seal the deal. Serene is going to hometowns!
Rose Ceremony #2
We got two rose ceremonies tonight, which means we’re finally back on track to the cadence we’re used to.
There are two roses to give out, Rachel is literally wearing a wedding dress, and Clayton says that he sees himself with all these women, but has to send one woman home and is letting his feelings guide him. Whatever the fuck that means.
The first rose goes to Rachel, obviously. The second goes to Gabby, which means Teddi is going home. I didn’t expect this and I can’t help, but wonder if he picked Gabby with a nudge from production. Gabby has shared her complicated relationship with her mother and I would not put it past them to ambush her and make her sit through an awkward hometown the way they did Dean during Rachel’s season.
I’m heartbroken for Teddi. Although she’s young, I see her as someone who really wants to fall in love. At the end, in her interview with production, she’s wondering what changed from their one-on-one last week to this week and she blames herself saying she must be the problem. That was sad and hard to hear.
After the first episode, I named my top four who would make it to hometowns. Those women were: Teddi, Susie, Genevieve, and Serene. I was half right. Both Serene and Susie secured hometown dates. Joining them are Rachel and Gabby.
We get a new preview for the rest of the season and it looks like Serene goes further than I expected! One thing about them making these shows more diverse, it is harder to hide who is who in the previews. These women each have distinct hair/features so they somewhat spoil their own show in that regard.
In the new footage, we get more of Clayton’s breakdown after he tells two women he was intimate with both of them and that he’s in love with three women.
We also get a conversation between Clayton and his parents where his daddy basically says he ain’t shit. I CACKLED. This is why I watch this show, for the utter, indecisive mess that these bachelors often find themselves in. Seems like this season is going to have a mess of an ending and likely an unfinished one. Can’t wait to watch it unfold!
The other thing I was shocked about is that usually the person who gets the first impression rose is in the final 2 or 3 girl. Clayton mess that trend up!
Never has the first rose 🌹 person ever
Left to the end.