Clayton, Please Go to Therapy: Bachelor 26 Finale
A person can never complete you or help you grow as much as getting vulnerable and honest with yourself will.
Well, we made it to the end y’all. Was the finale jaw-droppingly shocking, not completely. But for the most part, it was giving what it needed to give.
I know producers love them a happy ending and I feel like they worked overtime for this one, the only question I have is, was it worth it? Time will tell.
I know this show measures success by whether the lead is with a contestant by After the Final Rose instead of if they make it down the aisle, or even have an impactful relationship off the show, so I’m sure production is feeling good tonight with this ending.
Overall, the season kept me entertained and even furious at times. But as I write this, I can’t help, but feel like:
Susie deserves better.
Clayton needs therapy.
I’ve tried my best to shy away from comments about Clayton’s mental health and psychological state because I know the ~80 minutes of footage we see each week is not necessarily enough to diagnose a reality TV star, especially when I myself am not a trained professional.
But throughout the season, I saw both myself and men from my past in Clayton. His lack of emotion was confusing and oddly familiar. It’s like something has been blocking him from going deeper all season. I found that incredibly relatable. I tend to come off stoic or maybe even emotionless in some situations and it’s usually because I’m processing and don’t know how to respond to tears. I imagine some of that may be true for Clayton as well.
In his final hot seat of the night, Clayton said the process of being the Bachelor was five years of growth packed into two months. His comment insinuated that the growth stopped once he got the girl back. That Susie coming back to him made him whole.
Even though I don’t know these people, I worry about what that will mean for their future. Through gripped hands, peck kisses, and smiles, Clayton still looked torn to me at the end. I can’t speak to why that is, but the emphasis on a relationship completing him rather than him completing himself feels like a recipe for disaster.
I know we like to act like TV is just that, with no real-world implications. But often TV, especially reality TV, can reflect larger themes and conversations happening in society. I can’t help but wonder what message Clayton’s actions have sent to women who are dating men that exhibit the behavior he has the last few episodes as well as what it says to men, former athletes especially, that proudly call the gym their therapy (something Clayton said in an interview last week) instead of seeking help from a real professional. Maybe it’s unfair to put all of that on one person, or one couple, but those are the thoughts I’m sitting with as I write this.
We are back in Bachelor Arena (what I will be calling these live settings from now on) and Jesse is reminding us that what we’re about to watch is the most controversial finale in Bachelor history. He explains the mess Clayton is in and promises that the drama will continue on the stage (ehh, it sorta did).
Clayton is pondering the mess he’s created as he looks out on the Icelandic tundra. Despite the fact that he’s fallen in love with Rachel and Gabby he says he’s willing to risk it all to have one more conversation with Susie.
Jump to Jesse Palmer at Susie’s door. He shares with her that Clayton has been a wreck since their argument, he encourages her to go see Clayton if she’s up for it.
Across Reykjavik, Clayton is with his parents talking about what it is about Susie that makes him want to fight for her. His parents are doubtful that Susie even shows up, they’re really not fucking with her.
Within seconds she’s walking through the door. How awkward. Why did they make Susie show up at his family’s Airbnb? Has she not dealt with enough? They all awkwardly exchange hellos and Clayton and Susie go talk outside.
Susie says she’s shocked to be sitting in front of him and she’s still hurting because she didn’t know who she was talking to the night of their argument. There were so many good quotes tonight and I had to quote them directly. She said:
“The way you treated me and turned, that is when my mentality on you changed. I couldn’t even defend myself. I felt so vulnerable, I feel like you made me question my inner voice, my intuition, everything. I felt like an awful person, I felt bad about what I did. It was humiliating. I felt like a stray dog that had come into your home and you were shooing me out. I was already so embarassed by the entire conversation and topic. If you have love for me as a person, how could you treat me like this?”
Clayton apologizes immediately and says he didn’t mean what he said (then why say it?). He calls her his everything and says if she chooses to leave he’ll have nothing. He’s getting desperate, he’ll do anything to keep her. He asks for a second chance and Susie says she isn’t in a place to make a decision right away.
Despite what every romantic comedy has shown me, I do not like it when people call their romantic partners their everything or communicate that they’d be nothing/lost without their partner. This was the first of many times we hear Clayton say this about Susie tonight and it just felt so wrong.
It’s not anyone’s job to complete you. It’s your job to work through your stuff and lean on loved ones when you need to. They are not there to be a stand-in or replacement for inner work and healing. It was concerning to watch. It’s not romantic at all.
Clayton admits to her again that the ring/final spot is hers if she wants it. I wish he would’ve said it more plainly (although it was quite obvious) because it felt a bit like he was still in show mode and choosing her so that the show ended ‘the right way.’
In his interview with producers, he says his heart is with Susie. Now he knows he has to break up with Rachel and Gabby.
What I don’t understand at this point is why Clayton needed to drag the other two women through the process of meeting his family to come to this decision. As a viewer, his reaction to Susie a few episodes ago, while inappropriate, communicated to me that he wanted her. He even said he loved her most before getting upset. So why drag Rachel and Gabby through that awful rose ceremony and the meeting of his family? It’s cruel. When Colton realized it was Cassie, he immediately broke it off with the other women before going after Cassie.
Here’s How Not to Have a Break Up Conversation
The next day, Clayton is deep in thought, journaling his feelings presumably.
The women are in a hotel room, sharing what they’ve experienced over the last few days. They find out that they both met the family, but neither of them went on a date. Rachel, who is clearly a superfan of the show, knows that something is off when she finds out they both missed final dates with Clayton.
Clayton enters their suite. He says his journey has not gone how expected, but he followed his heart, which led to a lot of pain. He swears he saw his future with both women, but he knows it was unreasonable to say he was in love with three women at once. (Now he wants to think rationally 🙄?) He continues, saying his heart isn’t with either of them, it’s with Susie.
Gabby speaks first, says she has nothing to say. She calls him out on his lack of empathy before leaving the room. Rachel sits dumbfounded.
Clayton follows Gabby and asks to talk. She says she has no idea who he is and she’s pissed that she spent time with him in Iceland only for him to break up with her after he asked her to stay. She’s frustrated that he took away her opportunity to leave on her own like she wanted to. Instead, he begged her to stay.
She verbally eviscerates him and I loved every moment of it. She asks him why he’d choose to tell them difficult news as a group for a second time in one week instead of separately and he has no answer for her. He asks to walk her out and she declines. Love to see it.
Why did he choose to break up with them at the same time? Not only is it awkward, but it goes against everything he’s been saying the last few episodes. You don’t make that type of choice when you love someone or have genuine care for someone. This entire season, Clayton has done very few things with care and forethought. What the fuck are you thinking bro?
If Susie is who he wants, fine, but you told these women you loved them, you begged them to stay. Would it have been the worst thing, to take them one by one and have a conversation with them? I understand wanting to get a difficult conversation over with, but this was awful judgment and another selfish decision made by Clayton.
Gabby’s Hot Seat
When coming out to address Bachelor Nation, Gabby goes to see her grandfather before she takes her seat and I shed a tear seeing it. Grandparents are the best.
Gabby says watching the show back has brought back good and bad emotions, but has also given her the closure she was looking for. She said watching the show edited together allowed her to see all sides of Clayton.
Jesse asks her to explain why she seemed angry during her breakup with Clayton rather than sad. She says she got out a lot of her tears at the rose ceremony the week prior, so when the breakup conversation came, she felt betrayed and hurt and that’s what came out. She really believed it was her at the end and she really loved Clayton.
Gabby is the most dynamic woman from this season, she reminds me of Michelle, which I know is high praise. Michelle didn’t get many moments to be silly on Matt’s season or on her own, but we saw it in bloopers and in the tag of some episodes. This hot seat was just another case for why she should be Bachelorette.
It’s time for Clayton and Gabby to speak for the first time since Iceland. Gabby says after watching the show back she feels misled and like she didn’t have all the information that would have helped her make the decision to leave. She feels betrayed. Clayton (who has on a great suit!) apologizes and validates her feelings. It sounds like he’s practiced his response a bit.
Gabby continues, saying she felt like his mind was made up about Susie and he was never honest about that (and he wasn’t). Clayton tries to assure Gabby that he really did love all of them and her response was great:
“When you say you love someone, you’re assuming responsibility to protect them, to care for them, and not hurt them and you didn’t do any of those things. I know that you had deep feelings for us, I appreciate that. I don’t think you’re maliciaous, but I don’t think you know the weight your words carry. I take words as vow, but your actions couldn’t back up any of those words.”
Jesse cuts in to ask Clayton if he regrets sharing feelings of love with Gabby. In short, he doesn’t.
Rachel and Clayton Break Up
The pair are sitting in the same room together when Rachel begins to recount her time on the show. She says their first one-on-one date, in Houston, she started to fall in love with him. When he met her family, her mom told her she knew she was in love with him, and she called the end of their overnight date in Iceland the greatest moment of love she’s felt.
She reminded him that she was the only one who chose to stand there next to him when every other woman was opting out. She says him letting her go will haunt him. Rachel said she fought for him even when he didn’t fight for her. Sis is right. She never really wavered at all.
Clayton asks to walk her out and on the way to the car she’s saying he gave up on them. She’s in denial that he’s breaking up with her and I am too. I thought it would be her at the end since their first one-on-one.
Once in the car, she says she’s glad she at least has answers for how he feels.
We’re back in the Bachelor Arena with Rachel in the hot seat. She looks like she’s been sobbing, but her dress looks incredible! She says the hardest part has been knowing that she fought for their relationship and was blindsided by the breakup. All she knew was how she felt about him, she didn’t realize how deep he was in with the other women (mainly, Susie).
While she was still willing to fight for him at the moment he was putting her in the car to leave, she says she no longer has those feelings for him and knows she deserves better. This felt a bit like a setup for Bachelorette.
Jesse asks Rachel if she’s ready to see Clayton and she says she’s ready, but that he doesn’t deserve to see her. Still, she wants to speak her mind.
She begins by saying none of her emotions are about him because she became collateral damage in his journey for love. She says there was no empathy for her or Gabby and she found it disrespectful that he didn’t even shed a tear or show any emotion when sending these two women home.
I loved how both Gabby and Rachel mention one another in their comments to Clayton. Even though they weren’t on the couch together, they stuck up for one another. We love to see it.
Clayton apologizes and Rachel says she doesn’t believe him. This is the first apology she’s gotten from him on camera and it’s not good enough for her. She says it’s messed up that he left out that he loved Susie the most when pretending to be transparent about his feelings with Gabby and her.
Jesse gives the floor to Tony, Rachel’s dad, and he says he has nothing good to say. Clayton apologizes for the pain he caused his daughter and says he takes full responsibility for his actions.
In her final words, Rachel says Clayton told her that she was the first person he said I love you to in six years. She asks if he said this just to sleep with her. Clayton says no. She doesn’t believe him and honestly, neither do I.
I’m not sure Clayton is smart enough to be conniving in this way, but I could see it being somewhat subconscious. Essentially thinking with his penis. I’m not making excuses for him though, regardless of how good or true his intentions may have been at the time, he still fucked up.
I imagine what’s been the hardest for the women is how stale-faced Clayton has been through it all. We’ve seen him cry and get emotional throughout the season and we’ve also seen him seemingly emotionless. I could understand his lack of emotion when sending Claire or Cassidy home, or even during the Shanae/Elizabeth fight, but these are women you said you loved. How could you be so cold?
Clayton’s Final Rose
We are still in Iceland and instead of having a normal conversation with Susie, Clayton is getting dressed for a fucking proposal. Why? WHY!? He’s in a suit and holding a ring. He believes there’s hope.
Jesse Palmer delivers a letter from Clayton to Susie. In it, he says the same things he said to her a few days ago. He invites her to meet him at this countryside cottage to give her final answer.
She decides to show up (was there any doubt that she wouldn’t?). This is so messy. Even with no women left, I can’t believe they made Susie get into this Elsa-looking dress in the middle of nowhere Iceland, just to make a finale-worthy episode. At this point, that’s all this is about.
Clayton begins his speech about how he feels about Susie and even this speech lacks emotion. It’s weird to me. I know everyone shows emotion differently, but this feels like a speech of desperation rather than a speech of love. He even pulls out the ring box all willy nilly like it’s not this huge life choice. This doesn’t feel like an intentional choice to be in a relationship with Susie, it feels like he’s doing what the ‘process’ (read: producers) are telling him to do.
Susie says that she knows the love they share is real, but that she doesn’t have the unconditional love for him that he has for her. She’s made the decision to leave Iceland alone. She doesn’t think that she’s Clayton’s person nor he hers. Clayton asks if there’s some chance for them in the future and says “it’s not over until she tells him it’s over.” Fucking yikes. Get a grip, Clayton.
Susie says it’s over (but she lyin’).
They embrace and he walks Susie back to her car. If nothing else, this offered a better moment of closure for the woman he allegedly ‘loved the most’ than what we saw a few episodes ago.
Back in Bachelor Arena, Jesse says that for the first time in history, a Bachelor was rejected and ended up alone. Congrats to Susie for being one half of this historic moment! But is that really the end?
After The Final Rose
Clayton is back in the hot seat, notably alone. Jesse asks what this journey has been like. He says it was five years of growth packed in two months. I do not believe him.
Hannah Brown showed growth by the end of her season, Becca Kufrin showed more confidence by the end of her season (although her final pick was trash), even Matt James showed growth between his Quarantine Crew TikTok days to his After the Final Rose. Clayton has not shown growth, he’s been the same way from limo entrances to the man sitting in front of Jesse. His apologies feel rehearsed, his confrontations with Rachel and Gabby lacked emotion and introspection, and even the interviews he’s given center how awful he feels about the decisions he’s made on the show. This is why I want this man to find a great therapist before he thinks about finding a fiancé.
We find out a woman reached out to Clayton when the experience ended, it’s Susie. She looks phenomenal. She says she left Iceland by herself, for herself and it was important she did it that way. She’s using words like ‘we’ and ‘our’ which insinuates that they’re together.
Jesse finally asks what they are, she says Clayton is her boyfriend. They were able to reestablish their relationship because they had time apart as well as time together off-camera which allowed them to heal and come back to one another.
I’m disappointed and I’d love to hear specifics about what led them back to one another. Did Clayton go to therapy? Did they go to therapy together? I assume that time and conversations without the pressure of a camera help you figure out what you actually want. They say they took it one conversation at a time and she says she loves him.
Susie admits she expects they’ll get a bit of backlash and that people might not understand, but she hopes people can root for them together. Girl, I guess.
Jesse asks what’s next for the pair, insinuating that they could be engaged soon and before Clayton can answer, Susie, says she’ll be proposing to him. Susie, enough! Clayton gives her the final rose, signifying all is forgiven. They also announce Clayton is moving to Virginia, which is wild.
I looked back at my predictions for Clayton’s season. I was mostly right. I guessed:
He will chase after someone.
He chased after Susie.
Clayton will be easily manipulated.
This 100 percent happened. He told three women he loved them and fucked two of them, neither of which were women he actually saw himself with at the end.
Clayton and his final pick will move quickly.
I guessed this would be in the form of a quick marriage and a baby within a year or so similar to Arie and Lauren. I’d say him moving in with Susie after four months is still moving pretty quickly. Clayton said he’d be in Virginia within a few days!
The Next Bachelorette(s)
Jesse says this decision was the hardest they’ve ever had to make. He acknowledges the tweets and DMs they received about who to pick and lets us know it’s not Gabby, it’s not Rachel, it’s both of them!
There will be two Bachelorettes for the entire season. Their reactions were so cute and the love and support they have for one another feels really genuine.
No one knows what the process of this will look like. Will there be 60 guys? Will they date the same guys? Do the men have to choose one woman to journey with from episode one? We don’t know. I applaud production for trying something new like this. I think pure curiosity will make people tune in. At least the first few episodes.
Jesse ends this announcement by sliding in that he’ll be the host for their season as well. This is unfortunate, I really hoped Tayshia and/or Kaitlyn would have made a comeback. No such luck.
Still, I’m excited to see this new updated model on The Bachelorette, which I do admittedly watch more for the love story than the drama. Here’s to hoping we get a good mix of both, but that Rachel and Gabby’s season ends with more love and way less mess!
Thanks for rocking with me this season, we made it y’all. See you in a few months!
PREACH! All of this!
Thank you for recapping. I also wish Tayshia and Kaitlyn would be the hosts for next season.
I love your recaps and helped me to see things a little differently.
I have other thoughts on a person completing you. I see that comment to mean that that person brings out aspects of yourself that may not be dominant in you so they complete you in seeing yourself differently.
Great job Brittany and I love 💕 reading the recap’s weekly !!