The Tea Was Frigid: Bachelorette(s) 19, Episode 8
Another disappointing Men Tell All, so I’m asking some tough questions of this franchise.
Last night, we got to watch a bunch of men fake like they were upset with one another while also claiming to have fallen in love with Rachel and Gabby (or at least to have seen a future with them). None of it was convincing, and Paradise has already been filmed, so there was no need for these men to act too crazy auditioning for Paradise.
But before that, we got Aven’s hometown, which felt out of place and disjointed. Why the choice to shove this date into an episode with the Men Tell All? It was so awkward, much like this entire season.
Getting Spooky in Salem
We are in Salem, Massachusetts meeting Aven’s family, a date that Jesse said was cursed. Production even laid in creepy Halloween music to really drive the cursed vibe home.
Rachel is fearful that Aven’s parents won’t like her or that they won’t trust the process, especially since Aven’s parents have been vocal of their dislike of his previous girlfriends. We also learn Aven’s parents are separated and don’t get together in the same room often, but they’re making the sacrifice for him I suppose.
First, the pair is going to visit a ‘Love Witch’ who convinces them to do a love spell. She tells Aven that words have power and that he needs to open up more. She then tells Rachel to follow her heart and finally, she lights a candle that was most certainly purchased at HomeGoods 20 minutes before this was filmed and proceeds to knock over her whole setup. A bad omen for the night?
Rachel and Aven are meeting his parents at a restaurant. His mom, Dawn, and dad, AJ are dressed the same, which was funny to see knowing that they don’t interact much. Aven starts the night thanking his parents for putting their pride aside to meet Rachel.
Immediately, Aven’s dad is not with the shits. His mom is excited, but AJ is concerned about how this relationship would look in the real world. He asks what attracts her to Aven as a person, and Rachel doesn’t really answer the question besides saying they want the same things. He then asks if she believes they could bring their relationship into the real world and again, she says yes and that they’ve talked about how their jobs would work if they went on to be engaged. Practical. Lastly, when AJ asks if it’s Aven 100 percent, Rachel is honest and says she can’t say that she’s for sure he’ll be the one at the end.
AJ then asks his Aven if he’s ready for engagement and marriage with Rachel and he says he’s getting to that point, he’s just waiting for the validation from Rachel. Although AJ played a bit tough at first, he gave Aven his blessing at the end.
As Aven and Rachel are recapping the night, Aven says he has no doubts about where they are and he tells Rachel he’s falling in love with her and Rachel looks ecstatic. In her ITMs she says she’s falling in love with him too but doesn’t say it to him directly.
Every time I see this two, I’m surprised by how into one another they seem. We haven’t seen a lot of their relationship progression, so as a viewer, I feel like we don’t know him.
Next, we cut to Jesse telling us that all the men (except Teddy Bear Tyler) make it through to Fantasy Suites and directs us to ABC’s website if we want to see how the rose ceremony went down. I’m not upset that we didn’t get to see the rose ceremony, but after seeing this entire segment, why couldn’t that have fit into last week’s episode? We saw way too much of Tyler’s date and family only for him to get dumped. That could’ve been cut in half to add Aven’s date. Again, just me criticizing the editing and production choices this season.
One to some lukewarm tea!
Questions I Still Have After the Men Tell All
Roby looks insanely different with blonde hair. Not necessarily better, but different. Spencer on the other hand, fine as fuck with a beard. Wow wow wow. Men, always grow out your facial hair, always.
Nate is in a gorgeous olive suite and Tyler has a nice summer glow. The men don’t always look this spruced up at their Men Tell All/After the Final Rose tapings, but these guys look great. Notably missing are Chris (the man who talked about Fantasy Suites during week two) and Hayden, the man with a dying dog.
We allegedly had so much to get to, but then watched a four-minute clip of the entire season we all just watched. We ain’t forget what happened, we just watched it!
Did these guys really come on the show not knowing which woman they wanted?
I agreed with Quincey’s statements, these men should’ve known pretty quickly which woman they meshed with the most. In general, none of the contestants in this franchise get enough time with the leads, so picking was always going to be a crap shoot. We need to dead the idea that it’s disingenuous to know how this show works. It’s actually stupid to come on this show and not do some sort of research and within said research make a choice of which woman might best align with you, your values, and future goals.
But instead of common sense, we get a segment where half the guys say it was easy to come in with a decision, and the other half saying the opposite. The whole thing continued to drive home the message that these women were being compared to one another even though the franchise has spent a ton of time telling us the women were not going to be put in that position.
How can casting decipher potential disrespect from contestants before letting them on the show?
There’s an entire segment about how much Hayden sucks. Listen, Hayden does suck based on what we saw on TV, but I hate when shows have extended conversations about a person who isn’t there to defend themselves or answer for their actions. But the men made it sound like he declined the opportunity to participate, which says a lot about his character.
When viewers find out about contestants with racist tweets or sexual assault allegations the show moves semi-quickly to remove them from the franchise without actually addressing the behavior (more on that later) but surely there is a point in the casting process where producers can predict potential nasty or harmful behavior towards the leads. Hayden was comfortable calling Gabby and Rachel bitches, he was comfortable comparing them to his ex, and that behavior doesn’t happen by chance.
I love mess, and a little bit of drama, but I don’t like disrespect. That doesn’t make for good television and it takes the fun out of watching the show. Hayden was disrespectful and I can’t help, but wonder if there isn’t a process or series of questions that could uncover that type of behavior before a person is even cast. The experience of being shut off from the world and forced to make a decision to get engaged in two-is months is enough of a pressure cooker to cause drama, we can do without the misogyny and disrespect.
What are the COVID protocols of this show?
Unfortunately, I am so deep in the pit (IYKYK) that I’ve read several accounts of the MTA from people who were in the audience. My understanding is production in the studio told attendees that they couldn’t wear masks during filming, only during breaks/commercials, questionable.
Then, we get Logan in the hot seat where he is questioned like crazy about his intentions with Gabby and Rachel, why he kept accepting roses he knew he didn’t want, etc.
Questioning Logan the way Jesse, the men, and the women did, later on, is wild when you consider the fact that this man allegedly caught COVID days after finally choosing a side and it didn’t shut production down. Especially since this was filmed during a time where restrictions were significantly more serious than they are now and on what I assume was considered a closed set. At this point, Logan’s time on the show was what it was and of all the things I’m sure they taped during Men Tell All, I’m not sure this is the segment we needed to see.
At the end of the day, Logan waited too long to “switch teams” but I don’t think he’s a bad person for trying to pursue the woman he actually saw a future with. I’m side-eyeing production because we have now been forced to watch way too many segments centering Logan and we’re not done! Logan will be on Paradise in just a few weeks. Great 🙄
Will this show ever hold Nate (or any other men) accountable for their actions?
This show has a tough and problematic history especially when it comes to men. Lee was openly racist, yet still cast of the first Black Bachelorette’s season, Garrett from Becca Kufrin’s season liked content on social media that called children who experienced gun violence liars and crisis actors, and Minnesota Joe was accused of sexual assault, and that’s just to name a few. Usually, instead of addressing it head-on, the franchise either ignores it completely or gives the man softball questions during a pre-filmed interview.
Nate’s segment was no different.
We first get this intentional and strategic moment of humanizing Nate. We see his journey with Gabby, we shift back to him crying and talking about how great his time on the show was, and how much he loves being a dad. We’re primed to love him, we just watched five minutes of him falling in love with Gabby and talking about his daughter.
When Jesse finally asked about the social media rumors that called him out for dating multiple women at once and lying about it, he says what any good dad would say, he was protecting his daughter from an “unstable dating situation.” He also apologizes to the women he hurt before Alec co-signs his character and calls him a good guy. A softball interview that set him up perfectly for Bachelor. Something tells me we’ll see him in Paradise first though. Time will tell.
Why does Gabby have a lizard on her shoulder?
No, seriously, why? She’s been serving looks all season, but tonight was not it.
Will we get our first Asian Bachelor?
If Ethan’s baby back bitch comment showed us anything, it’s that he’s quick with the whit and I want more. He’s funny on social media, he’s cute, and comes to us scandal-free (sorry Nate). Ethan for Bachelor!
The last 30 minutes of MTA were an absolute waste, but we did get a trailer for the rest of the season. Zach is feeling blindsided, Erich is testing Gabby, and both women appear to be getting engaged in horrid dresses. These women honestly deserved so much better. After seeing that Paradise trailer, I’m excited for this season to end and for the beaches of Mexico to open!
Great recap and great questions of the franchise. I was also bothered that the guys were allowed to dump on the two who weren’t there. Not defending those two at all, and if they declined an invitation to MTA, that’s the chance they take, but they should get a chance to say something, which would likely be dumb and non-answery.