Ello mates! Cheerio! We are in London, another perfect place to fall in love (supposedly). There are 11 women left, which seems crazy. How are there 11 women left, five weeks in? Doesn’t that seem like less than usual?
The women are donning their cutest fall attire, sipping beers, and cheersing to falling in love with Zach. They keep saying London is the city of romance and I don’t think that’s right, but I’ve never been so what do I know lol.
Greer is so sure that she is getting the first one-on-one date, she loves tea, she’s told Zach about her love for it, and she even has a tattoo of a teacup that looks like a blob. It seems promising in her mind, but the first date goes to Gabi, finally. I was sick of seeing her cry over literally everything.
The Pretty Woman Date
Gabi gets the coveted ‘Pretty Woman’ date. A butler summons her and she heads to meet Zach while Greer is left to crumble. I imagine it’s hard to get the first impression rose and then wait weeks to get a one-on-one. At this point, I think Zach’s moved on and established deeper relationships with other women and Greer knows that.
But can we talk about the premise of this date for a moment? An eligible bachelor picks a woman out of a lineup of 30 and decides that she gets a shopping spree that rivals NYFW party goody bags. While the opportunity seems amazing, most Bachelor Nation recappers lovingly call this the Pretty Woman date, based on the movie with Julia Roberts. Surely production knows we associate this type of date with a movie about a prostitute and the rich white man she falls for. Perhaps this is outdated and we can try a different approach.
I guess technically we did get a different approach in this episode. Gabi and Zach are at a perfume shop, creating their own perfume formula together. I immediately googled perfume-making classes in Chicago because this looked amazing. It’s an unexpectedly intimate way to get to know a person, smell is very intimate and personal, to me at least. This date also gave us more of Gabi’s personality, she’s actually pretty funny!
Next, the couple is headed to a parlor of some sort, they’re trying on crowns and hats, and then they get to spend time with royal corgis.
Then it’s time for the actual Pretty Woman portion. Gabi is trying on beautiful gowns, one of which she will, of course, wear for their nighttime date. She shares in her voiceover that she struggles with body image, but that Zach is helping her feel comfortable.
I think a lot of women can relate to having body image issues. As a plus-size woman who has almost always been the biggest girl among my friends/romantic partners, I’d love to see a plus-size woman on this show and get a date like this. Could you imagine the message that would send? How groundbreaking would it be to see a fat woman try on couture gowns on a show as straight-edged as The Bachelor?
Gabi returns to the hotel with arms full of shopping bags stuffed with Jimmy Choos, earrings, and other clothing items. She shares her and Zach’s signature scent, Zabi. Which is a very cute name. Half of the women are excited and happy for her, the other half are clearly uncomfortable and annoyed. I’m sure it was the editing, but Gabi needed to read the fucking room. Yes, she should take her moment, but it was overkill at a certain point. You know damn well these women don’t give a fuck about the J. Crew sweater production made Zach buy you.
Of course, this pisses off Greer. She storms out of the room to cry in the hallway and Aly goes to console her before Gabi comes down the hall with all her new things and asks Greer to move because she was crying in front of her room 💀. Sometimes this show gives you a perfect moment and this was it.
Gabi arrives for dinner with Zach in the blue tulle dress Zach loved so much from earlier in the day. She’s looking forward to opening up to Zach and deepening their relationship.
Their conversation during this date felt very normal. They talked about opening up, their insecurities, and what they are looking for in a long-term partner/best friend. Gabi seems to share some sort of story about losing herself in her previous relationship, but a lot of context is edited out. We see Zach respond as he has with all of his one-on-one dates, with a lot of grace, patience, and kindness. More and more it seems like he is either not good in a group setting, or doesn’t like the dynamic of the group dates. Maybe more drama comes up in them than we’re seeing. This is also reminded me that we rarely saw him on group dates, in the group setting. Maybe it isn’t where he shines
While Gabi and Zach are connecting, a group date card arrives revealing that Charity will get the second one-on-one date and the rest of the women will join Zach on a group date. Mercedes breaks down and exits the room crying. At this point, I imagine it’s setting in that Zach has his top four or five girls and the rest of them will go home one by one for the next few weeks.
Back on the date, Zach gives the date rose to Gabi and they dance to the band UB40 performing ‘Can't Help Falling in Love.’
Double Up On Love
On the date: Brooklyn, Katherine, Aly, Kaity, Ariel, Kylee, Jess, Mercedes, and Greer
The women are getting ready for their date with Zach when they get a note at the door “from Zach” saying he’s sick. First of all, why Jesse couldn’t come in and deliver that message? Second, was he under the weather, or was it an inconclusive COVID test 👀? Sorry, I’m so messy and just want mess.
The women are pissed, but they still get to go explore the city, just not with Zach. They look like they aren’t having a good time, which is wild because they are still in London, might as well enjoy that!
I’m actually shocked we still got this footage because it wasn’t that interesting. When the audience said they wanted more footage of the contestants doing nothing, we meant the conversations they roll with the credits, not this.
The women are hopeful to see Zach as they head into the cocktail party. I assume they got word that Zach is feeling better since they all got dressed up.
Unfortunately, a butler enters the party with another note from Zach sharing that he won’t be attending the cocktail party. Why make these women get dressed for that? For footage of them crying dressed in black tie attire? That seems unfair and mean. I know production does a lot worse, but I felt bad for the women.
An Unlikely Diagnosis
It’s a new day and Charity and the other women aren’t sure if they’ll get to see Zach. Jesse shows up, for the first time in this episode! He gets to the point, Zach tested positive for COVID and his date with Charity is canceled. I called this last week and I’m shocked this news didn’t leak, specifically to the bigger entertainment news outlets, not the spoiler Bachelor IG pages.
The Bachelor is one of the only dating shows that involves a lot of travel/movement throughout filming, besides maybe Love Is Blind, so I’m actually surprised this didn’t happen sooner. They’ve had several COVID bubble seasons without a positive test (that we know of). I wonder if they relaxed any rules that may have caused this.
It’s also wild that Jesse gave the women no information about what to expect next. I understand at this point, the CDC/WHO was recommending five days of quarantine before resuming your regular life, but I had COVID for the first time last October and my tests were coming back positive for 10 days (and I was vaxxed + boosted)! No way production could afford 10 days of quarantine. And were the women tested after Zach’s positive test? It’s weird we didn’t see any of that!
Maybe it’s wild to wonder what sort of ethical/medical practices this show is abiding by in the midst of an ongoing pandemic, but it’s kind of a big deal to me. All the cast, crew, and contestants were exposed and it seems pretty reckless to not give them (and us) more info.
After the news is delivered, Kaity starts crying, a lot. Jesse randomly calls out that Kaity is a nurse and probably understands what Zach is feeling. This was so weird. Aren’t several of these women nurses? Why only acknowledge hee? I guess it’s because the next scene is her creating a gift basket of goodies. A nice gesture that obviously production created for her.
She delivers the basket to Zach’s room and they have a short chat through the door. She uses this time to share that she sees a future with him and she doesn’t want him having COVID to affect their momentum. Zach assures her that he’s excited about her and looking forward to the next time they can spend time together.
Another day has gone by and Jesse is back with some good news. While Zach is still positive for COVID he is feeling good enough to do a virtual cocktail party. He also announces that Zach will give out roses virtually. The women are anxious and wondering how the night might go with this new setup, but they’re happy to have some time with him rather than none.
Getting Dumped Over Zoom
We get to see Zach set up mics and cameras and log into Zoom for the cocktail party. It felt like we were getting a peek at how the sausage gets made! Charity enters a private room with a tablet to chat with Zach. It’s like their first FaceTime date! For a guy with COVID, Zach looks good and seems to be in good spirits. He has a surprise for Charity. It’s a Big Ben statue delivered with a pun. I’d expect nothing less from Zach.
One by one the women get a few minutes to speak with Zach. None of them are able to see themselves, which would bother the shit out of me. Honestly, this setup is a little weird to be watching as a viewer, but it’s lowkey good practice for the long-distance relationship one of them will inevitably end up in if given the final rose.
Of all the virtual conversations, Zach and Greer have the most awkward ones. Greer compares him getting COVID four weeks before he’s supposed to get engaged to her getting COVID at the end of a sales quarter. Baby girl, be fucking for real. Honestly, her age was really showing in this episode. She can’t help that she’s young, I don’t hold that against her, but it was a wild comparison to make. Zach’s reaction was a little surprising too. He seemed really bothered by her comparison, but I chalk that up to the exhausting journey and him spending his week in London in a hotel room.
For the second time in this episode, Greer is crying and being comforted by other women, namely, another Black woman (Aly the first time, Charity this time). After Greer and Zach’s time together, I definitely thought she was headed home.
Jesse checks in with Zach before the rose ceremony and Zach is really struggling with the fact that he has to send women home virtually and lost the week to deepen his relationship with them. Jesse awkwardly balances the iPad in his hand while Zach cries on the other end, he truly seemed so uncomfortable 😭.
The women enter the rose ceremony to find a flat-screen TV with Zach on video. He says Kaity’s name first and it drives home the awkwardness of this all. Kaity wasn’t even sure if she heard her name, she didn’t know whether to pick up the rose, there seemed to be a lag in the video, it was both a mess and as good as it could’ve been given the circumstances.
Greer freaks out via voiceover throughout the entire ceremony, but in the end, it is Kylee and Mercedes that are sent home. I hated that they had to say goodbye via a screen. That just sucks.
At the end of the episode, we get the trailer for the rest of the season. Lots of beautiful tropical and European views, a good amount of tears, and some jealousy. Looks like we might get two more self-eliminations (Greer and Jess?). The second half of the season definitely seems emotional. I’m actually looking forward to it. While I can’t say I’m fully team Zach, I do genuinely hope he ends up with one of these women and that they last. He seems to really want it. Until next week, ✌🏾.