From Bros to Foes: Bachelorette 18, Episode 9
For the first time this season, I'm giving Michelle the baby side eye.
Well, we’ve almost made it to the end and I’m really sad about it. I haven’t been watching Bachelor Nation shows for very long, (started watching for Rachel Lindsay) but I can honestly say Michelle’s season is the most I’ve been excited for week after week. Has it given us the drama we’ve come to know and love? No, not really, but it’s felt so genuine every step of the way and I’ve really been convinced that she was in control the entire time. It’s been nice to see a Black woman on television advocate for herself, ask for what she wants and then get it (for the most part).
We are in Mexico this week! I got so excited seeing a beach in the opening, mainly because the closest I’ve been to one in two years is Lake Michigan 😭.
Michelle is talking about it being fantasy suite week and says a lot of emotions come with it because she and the men finally get to have this time to ask the questions she’s wanted to without the cameras present. I’m always curious about this week; what questions are these leads waiting to ask in the final week? There are some things that I, as a Black woman, would need to know off rip. Like who a person voted for (or if they voted) in 2016, what their credit score is looking like, their career path/plans, and if they want kids. I don’t doubt a moment alone to talk (and do other things) isn’t hugely beneficial, but I do wonder if the right questions are being asked along the way, and why there is such an emphasis on waiting until the very end to ask these huge questions. It’s not just Michelle, it happens every season. For example, should Tayshia have found out that Ivan wasn’t religious for the first time during his overnight? Probably not.
Michelle is walking down the beach with Kaitlyn and says she has feelings for all the men left and that her relationships are strong. She sees a future with each of these men and together, they go over the three who are left.
First, we have Brandon who has always been open about what he’s feeling. She says she has no concerns with Brandon (this is a good sign, Michelle). With Joe, Michelle talks about their chemistry and the fact that they’re forever bonded because of Minnesota and basketball. She’s looking to progress her feelings with Joe in overnights. Lastly, there’s Nayte, who caught her eye right away. He got the First Impression Rose and she says he has a lot of depth to him (sis, where!?). Despite this, she’s struggling because he has not said the words I love you to her yet and she’s nervous about being in a situation with him where she’s more in love with him than he is with her (even though she is high key already in this situation). Kaitlyn tells Michelle to pay attention to those concerns about Nayte because it’s something she wishes she paid attention to. This is where Kaitlyn and Tayshia shine, they’ve been in her shoes, and even though neither of their relationships worked out on the show, they have the gift of wisdom and are able to share it.
Back at the hotel, the tension between the men is so clear. It’s sinking in that it’s going to be one of them at the end, so they are less friendly and really beginning to view one another as competitors.
Tayshia comes in to talk to the men about the importance of Fantasy Suites and how nice it is to have that private time together. She tells the men to take this time with Michelle seriously and lay all their feelings out on the line so they don’t regret not saying how they truly feel.
Brandon is excited as fuck, the same way he’s been all season. I love the way he loves, only from afar though, I couldn’t deal with that type of love bombing IRL.
Let’s Ride Off Into the Sunset
Brandon is up first and he is flattered, while Joe is a little bothered. The opportunity to go first puts Brandon at an advantage and he realizes that.
As Michelle and Brandon walk towards one another, they look like two kindergartners that are super smitten. They’re going horseback riding, which was to be expected because not a single season of this show is complete without a date like this. While I’m sure there are handlers off camera in these moments, I always wonder why they let the couples roam with no crash course on how to handle the horses.
As they begin their trek, Michelle says she’s surprised by Brandon because he rolled up on a bed in Jordans so she thought he was going to be a player and not serious. The producers clearly thought this as well, which is why they let him enter in that way. But, Brandon has turned out to be a refreshing surprise who really, really loves Michelle.
I just believe Brandon when he says he’s happy to be with Michelle, or when he says some cheesy shit about wanting to hold her forever. I don’t believe the other men when they say similar things (well, Nayte don’t say shit about his feelings, so that doesn’t help).
They sit down on the beach and talk about how compatible their families would be and how well Michelle fit in with Brandon’s family during hometowns (a very underrated feeling). Michelle calls Brandon one of a kind and they run into the ocean to make out. We also get Brandon in his interview with production hoping he’ll be lucky enough to go to the fantasy suite with Michelle (we love a man that doesn’t assume) and also wondering if he’s enough.
Back at the house, Nayte is talking about how he hadn’t considered Michelle’s relationship with the other men until this week its the first time we don’t get the borderline cocky Nayte this season. Besides when he was crying about his love for his stepdad Charles.
It’s time for the evening portion of the date and Brandon is back to love bombing, hard. He said he could literally rip out his heart, throw it on the table and say ‘do what you want with it because it’s yours.’ This man is NUTS. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man in real life or on TV love someone this hard. That probably says more about me than it does about Brandon.
He tells Michelle that he doesn’t want anyone else besides her and Michelle struggles a bit to look at him, which feels like a bad sign. She asks how he felt walking into the season versus how he’s feeling now that he’s at the end. She’s wondering if he believes he’s ready for a proposal. While watching, I thought this was a good sign she was asking this question, turns out she asked every guy this.
Again, Brandon assures her that he loves her. He says he will always put her first and at this point, I was taking notes through tears. It was so sweet, not even so much that he felt that way for Michelle, but his confidence in his feelings and willingness to share them that way was endearing. We don’t get to see Black men giddy and in love on TV like this, at least not without some type of terrible heartbreak. So even though the constant lovefest was a lot for me, it was also great to watch.
Michelle responds with her go-to line, saying that her heart is beating fast, but also that she’s falling in love with him as well. She sees herself with him and she feels safe with him, he makes her heart feel safe. A sweet sentiment. She ends by saying Brandon is soulmate material and she invites him into the fantasy suite.
The next morning, the couple is enjoying breakfast in bed and it quickly turns into a food fight. I’m not here for it, cuz we grown. You get runny egg yolk in my hair, we’re fighting.
They say goodbye and before leaving, Brandon draws a heart in the sand with their initials. My guy is all in and I fear what happens if it’s not him at the end.
Brandon comes back to the hotel and Joe and Nayte are waiting for him. It’s very awkward. Eventually, Joe asks how his night was and Brandon says he isn’t going to go into detail about it. In an interview with producers, Joe says he understands why, it’s like someone going on a date with your girlfriend where they end up spending the night.
Brandon somehow knows Joe is up next and asks him what his date card says and Joe actually tells him! It’s too much! There was a time when they got all different hotel rooms during this week, right? Why change that formula? The drama it brings isn’t that exciting, it’s just hurtful. I know they’ve done this setup for a few seasons now, but it felt especially awful this time because all of these men feel really invested in a way we haven’t seen before.
We’re Falling For Eachother
Joe is mumbling about being excited to see Michelle and says it’s likely the most important date he’s ever had. He’s talking about how he’s introverted and it takes him a while to open up, but is working to push himself to be more open during their date.
The couple is going zip lining for the first time together and Joe is scared. Is there anything Michele won’t do? She scaled a building with Matt, free climbed rocks with Jami, and now is sliding down a literal thread for a sandwich and champagne at the end? It’s not worth it sis! We do see Joe yell probably for the first time in his life.
At the end of their adventure, Michelle asks if Joe imagined himself opening up as much as he did throughout this journey. Joe says no, but that she’s made it easy. They share how they’ve both acted like a little slice of home for one another throughout this journey. I do think people who are from the midwest (especially black people) have this weird bond and understand one another right off the bat. It’s a shared experience that doesn’t take much explaining. While this was a nice moment, this was the first time I watched these two and wondered if it’s just the comfortability they’re both into rather than an actual connection.
Going into the evening, Michelle says Joe is a 1,000 piece puzzle, and she likes puzzles. I think this is s good analogy. It takes patience to be with someone like Joe and Michelle definitely has that. That doesn’t mean she’s got to be the one to pull him out of his shell. I imagine that could get exhausting.
Michelle asks him how it feels to be with someone who is extroverted and Joe says it makes for a good balance. I’d agree, although I’ve dated a true extrovert and flirt (a la Nayte) and I hated it. Both parties have to have patience when they’re so different in this way.
She asks Joe how many kids he wants and he says three (which we know is also how many Michelle wants). Joe shares that he pursued real estate because he wanted to set himself up and his future family for success. He talks about his ‘why,’ which I kind of got lost in, he was mumbling too much and it didn’t connect with me, but the gist was that they both want to leave an impact on the world beyond being good at sports.
Back at the hotel, Nayte is trying to convince himself that going third is the best spot to go in. I would personally hate going last, that takes some serious confidence to not be in your head. He says Michelle wanted to save the best for last, but Brandon maintains that the first person to go is probably her strongest connection (I’d agree). Have we ever gotten this much convo between the final three while one of them is in the fantasy suite? Yikes.
Joe gets invited to the fantasy suite. Michelle says she didn’t realize how important it was to Joe that he changes the world and it felt like she got the answers she was looking for.
Again, we are back at the hotel and Brandon is calling Michelle his wife and that he’s accepted that he’s going to end up with her, but it’s tough to think about her having a good time with Joe and then with Nayte. He’s scared to lose her.
The next morning, there are no shady shots of clothing on the floor, just them cuddling in bed. Of course, they are both morning people, which tracks, they were waking up for those 6 a.m. basketball practices most of their life I’m sure. Michelle says seeing Joe with the cameras off was nice. She spends a lot of time reassuring him and I wasn’t sure if it was because she was trying to convince herself or because they clicked so well overnight.
She calls him a “maybe soulmate” and I have a comment about this. I know this is TV, but the obsession with soul mates in our culture is exhausting. I believe our friends are likely our soulmates much more than our romantic partners. In a marriage, or any long terms committed relationship, there becomes a point where you are choosing your partner. You’re accepting that every day is not going to be rainbows and sunshine, they might not feel like a soul mate in every moment, but still, you are making a choice that (in my opinion) has very little to do with love. But I’m a realist. I love love, but I’ve always needed my romantic relationships to be rooted in reality to feel safe. That’s probably why Brandon’s love bombing is way too much for me.
Joe gets back from his overnight date and shares that they went to the fantasy suite (duh, Joe). Nayte gets up to get ready for his date and Brandon and Joe question if Nayte is ready and if he’s falling for her because he’s kept his feelings pretty closed off. Interesting insider tip that Nayte isn’t even showing much emotion in the house, but not surprising.
Michelle, You In Danger Girl
We didn’t get to see what Nayte’s date card said, but he’s headed to chill with Michelle on the ocean. I’m wondering why we couldn’t get Nayte more swim trunks than just these oranges ones? They look great on him, but still.
The couple is on a catamaran and this is by far the best date. Nayte has consistently gotten the best dates all season. Michelle says she feels how you’re supposed to feel when you’re with your soulmate (ok sis 🙄).
Nayte is honest about how uncomfortable he was throughout the week thinking about her other relationships, a nice moment of vulnerability. He drops an ‘I’m crazy about you’ line which is not the same as I love you. I think Nayte is scared of his feelings and Michelle isn’t being realistic. They were both looking real funny during this date. While both of their actions/feelings are valid, someone has got to speak up and be honest.
Nayte is someone who would be so fun to date throughout your 20s, I think it would be a whirlwind romance, but at the end of the day, he’s got too much to unpack on his own, he’s got work to do on himself before being a husband and it’s not that he can’t do that while in a relationship with someone, he can, but I’m not sure it’s fair to Michelle when she has clearly done so much work on herself.
We don’t actually get much of their daytime date, but Michelle says it’s important that she hears an I love you tonight. At this point, while watching, I did not believe she was going to get it.
Back at the hotel, Joe and Brandon think that Nayte will remain to keep some of the feelings he’s having close to the chest and that it won’t bode well for him. When it gets down to the final few men and we get comments like this, I tend to believe what’s said a bit more because they’ve gotten to know him and live with him way more than Michelle has.
Going into dinner, Michelle is worrying that she may have stronger feelings for him than he does for her. If this is how she’s feeling, she shouldn’t ignore it. I don’t think it’s a question as to whether she’s more into him, she is! That doesn’t mean Nayte can’t get to where she’s at, but if that mutual feeling is important going to a potential engagement, then Nayte isn’t her person.
Michelle says she plans to ask the hard questions and wastes no time getting to it. She asks if he has a lot on his mind to talk about and Nayte says no! Girl, this is not your man. Please move on.
She keeps going, practically leading him to water. She says this journey is leading up to an engagement and she wants to know where he’s at with that. He talks about how pivotal his hometown was and says talking with his parents helped him realize he doesn’t have all the answers when it comes to life after the show and that not knowing is part of life. This is true, but you also cannot Kanye shrug your way through an engagement and potential long-distance relationship, especially when he likely does not have U.S. citizenship yet. That’s what Katie did and look how that ended up.
Michelle shares that Charles told her he wasn’t sure that Nayte would be ready for an engagement to which Nayte says he doesn’t play with love, emotions, or feelings. He’s feeling things he’s never felt for anyone before and says it’s easy to picture a life with Michelle.
She pushes him a bit more and says it’s important for her to know where his heart is at. She asks if he’s falling in love, in love, or ready for an engagement and he says all three. His answer didn’t seem confident. She says she’s ready for an engagement at the end of this and she wants to know if he can get there and he says “most definitely.” This seems to be enough for Michelle, but I think dude is lying and was scared to say no because of what it would mean. Again, I feel Nayte is very much approaching this shit the way Katie did with this ‘we’ll figure it out’ attitude, but when people say relationships are hard, what they really mean is they take work and figuring it out is the work, not being specific about said work, is not a great starting place. But I suppose that’s what fantasy suites are for.
I have to say, this conversation was the first time I was really disappointed in Michelle. Yeah, she kept Martin and Chris S. slightly longer than she should’ve, we were all sad to see her send Rodney home, and wanted more of Leroy and Olu, but I saw so much of myself in Michelle during this conversation with Nayte. I can remember having this very conversation in a previous relationship and I remember their answer being eerily similar to Nayte’s. It just wasn’t good enough for me. Michelle has demanded these men to be better all season and I feel like Nayte has been able to coast this entire season, even when it comes to being vulnerable. She pushed him that first night, night, but not much after that. I guess you could say we saw her push him tonight, but it felt more like coercion. Not on some shady shit, but she was really doing the heavy lifting emotionally and I couldn’t help, but wonder if she’d spend a lot of time doing that in a long term relationship with Nayte.
The next morning, Nayte says he’s falling in love and in love. Again, Michelle has to ask “So Nayte is in love?” and he says yes and she says it back. She says this is what a soulmate feels like and I literally hate this for Michelle. I’ve been trying to separate my projections on to Nayte from what we’re actually seeing on TV, but we just saw this man say he loves his step dad (that he’s known for at least a decade) for the first time two weeks ago! Michelle, if he’s not able to say on his own that he loves you then sis, he probably isn’t there yet and pushing it is not the solution. I also found it interesting that Nayte hasn’t said once that he loves her in ITMs (that we’ve seen). We’ve only seen him say it to Michelle when she’s basically asked him to say something. I realize we only know what we’re shown and producers could certainly be setting it up the way they did Brian and Rachel where him being her final pick was confusing to the audience because of the footage we were shown.
Nayte comes back from his overnight confident AF, but he was always going to play it like that in front of these men.
And Then There Were Two
As Michelle gets ready for the rose ceremony, she says she’s in love with all three men, which means someones heart is about to get broken. At some point she switches from talking about all the men, using words like they, to speaking about one man in particular, it was confusing.
Before handing out the first rose, she says these men have changed her life and that her decision has her stomach in knots and feels impossible to make. But before she can continue, Brandon steps up and asks to talk to her.
The other men are bothered, Nayte says you only hail mary when you’re losing it, which I agree with.
I personally thing Brandon felt it was him going home and kind of wanted to give her “permission” to make that decision if she needed. He reminds her that he’s got her back, no matter what happens. It did feel like a hail mary, but a sincere one.
Nayte gets the first rose and I’m annoyed, I knew at this moment Joe was going home. The second rose goes to Brandon. Which means Minessota Joe is going home. He was my top pick for her and I am legit sad to see him go. We probably will not see him on Paradise or any other Bachelor Nation shows, but hopefully he gives someone an interview, one where he actually talks.
Michelle takes Joe outside and apologizes through tears. She says she’s still falling in love with him and that she didn’t want to break his heart, but she can’t be his person. Joe said he really saw a future with her and is sad that it won’t come to fruition, but he’s thankful she pushed him to open up. He gets in the car and she watches him drive away.
Sidenote: There’s a shot of her crying while watching Joe drive away where Nayte is in the background over her shoulder and it’s quite impressive (none of the screenshots I took do it justice).
Next week we’re getting a live three hour finale, (why why why!?) Michelle’s parents worried about jealousy and not being ready for an engagement, and Michelle freaking out before her final rose ceremony. I know this is edited to be dramatic, but the last few previews have left me feeling like maybe Michelle doesn’t get engaged. That doesn’t mean she isn’t happily with someone, but its just a feeling I get. While it is hard to deny her chemistry with Nayte, the standards she’s held these men to all season and what Nayte is giving her, especially when compared to Brandon, just does not add up. Hopefully, I’m wrong.