Nothing allows us to get to know these contestants more than hometowns and tonight was no different. My main takeaway is that Dotun is Charity’s husband and if she doesn’t pick him, she needs to spin the block after the season and pick him. Let’s just jump right in!
Aaron
Hometown: Houston, Texas
Family: Mom Ethel, Dad Eddie, Brothers Erick and Edward, sister-in-law Audrey
It was surprising to hear Charity admit that she thought Aaron was endgame for her when she first met him and after their first date. It’s almost like the first impression rose doesn’t actually mean anything, and it’s just given to whoever will help start drama. 🙃
Aaron tells her that while he is excited that she will be meeting his family, he wishes they were further along in their relationship and specifically wished they’d shared feelings of love with one another before bringing family into it. This made me wonder if anyone has ever gone to hometowns and refused to introduce their parents to the lead. I know Justin Glaze only had his best friends at his hometown date, but it wasn’t a straightforward “no you’re not meeting my family.” His family basically told him that they didn’t want to be a part of this sham of a process. Plus, that was during a COVID bubble season, so I don’t count it.
Aaron’s mom, Ethel cooked a big Southern meal for Charity and Aaron. I’m not gonna lie, the food looked like it slapped. Seeing as though (spoiler alert) Aaron goes home, this hometown could have been a tutorial on how to make that gumbo instead of getting to know his family.
Ethel asked Charity if she’d accept a proposal from Aaron if the process ended that day and I give kudos to Charity for being honest and saying no. She says it’s not an indictment on how she feels about Aaron, but more so where she’s at in the process, which was a very diplomatic answer that I did not buy.
Instead of talking about Charity, we get a sweet moment between Aaron and his father, Eddie, where they share their love and adoration for one another. Any time the show gives us Black men being truly vulnerable is a win for me. I loved this conversation, even if it had very little to do with the process or Charity herself. He has a similar conversation with his mother too.
After meeting the family, Aaron takes Charity to a high school football field and gives her a letterman jacket to match the one he has. He also takes this opportunity to tell her that he’s falling in love with her. They dance to the same song they first listened to during their first one-on-one. I’d love to know how much that country music star paid to get mentioned in this damn show twice.
Joey
Hometown: Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Family: Mom Kathy, Dad Nick, sisters Carly and Ellie and, brother-in-law Zach
Excuse me, why are we not in Hawaii? I understand that where Joey lives and his family lives are not the same place, but they should’ve just given us a Hawaiian hometown. We have not gotten good locations during this season, so it’s the least they could’ve done.
Naturally, the tennis pro himself brought Charity to a tennis court where he can be his most real self. I don’t know why, but I love when a man teaches a woman how to seriously play a sport, but manages not to mansplain or treat her punitively. Joey struck that balance.
While practicing, Joey’s uncle Joe shows up and we find out his uncle served as his tennis coach and mentor. Joey says of all people his opinion matters the most (not his dad?). Uncle Joe said something was off with Joey and it seemed like he wasn’t being himself. His uncle seemed like one of those white men that says very rude things, then says he’s joking when he really isn’t. Do with that information what you will, but it was giving hating ass bitch.
As the date wraps up, Joey asks Charity if she has any worries or concerns about meeting his family. Charity admits she’s only met Black families in her dating experiences and I didn’t like Joey’s response. I felt he was dismissive like it isn’t a big deal, but he can’t imagine how nerve-wracking that experience is especially in some no-name-ass, Pennsylvania town.
Off-rip Joey’s family seemed overly concerned about him getting his heart broken. It made me think he’s had several instances of molding himself to fit in with a woman he’s interested in instead of having actual chemistry with them. His uncle was especially skeptical and still giving hater energy. Despite this energy, it was nice to see a male on this show questioned in the way women usually are in this process. I can’t remember the last time we’ve seen a male contestant being accused of shifting himself to be what the Bachelorette wants. Of course, I hope that isn’t actually what Joey is doing, but if it is, Charity wouldn’t find out until after the cameras stop rolling.
Charity asks Joey’s uncle if he feels that Joey is ready to be a husband and a father, and he answers honestly by saying he doesn’t know. He’s worried that Joey is falling into his pattern of being what people want him to be instead of who he really is. Charity is thrown off by this answer because she had plans to tell Joey she was falling in love with him. After speaking with his family, she decides not to and starts crying before saying goodbye. She assures Joey that they are happy tears, but I’m pretty confident they were not.
Xavier
Hometown: Cleveland, Ohio
Family: Sister Chelsea, Mom Tracey, Dad Clarence
We are in the good ol’ Midwest and Xavier is taking Charity on a knitting date! This might be the most pure date we’ve ever seen on this show. They’re in a knitting circle, and each participant shares what they love most about knitting. I loved this date and seeing a Black man in such a soft light. He was patient with Charity as she learned to use the knitting yarn and encouraged her when she got it right.
Before the end of the day portion of their date, Charity brings up how nervous she is about his readiness for marriage and a long-term commitment. Xavier doesn’t say much to quell her fears, but Charity hoped meeting his family would bring some clarity.
Going into meeting Xavier’s family, Charity was worried Xavier wouldn’t be ready for the commitment he needs to be willing to make by the end of the process. Tracey, his mom immediately marvels at how happy, comfortable, and settled they seem with one another. It’s pretty reassuring for his mom to affirm what we’ve seen on the show as well. Charity and Xavier seem so incredibly comfortable with one another.
Despite what Xavier said last week about not being sure about a long-term commitment, his sister Chelsea sings his praises about how he is in a relationship. She says he’s a giver and has always gone above and beyond in his relationship, but never quite gotten it back.
The thing that gave me pause is when Xavier was speaking with his dad. He kept focusing on what his dad thought of Charity and if his family thought that he was ready for marriage instead of how he felt. It wasn’t until he got a glowing review from his sister Chelsea that he was magically ready to say that he was in love. And Charity bought it! It was embarrassing, to be honest.
Xavier has given me little to no doubts all season, but seeing him sort of shrink into a child around his family was concerning and helped me understand why he said he wasn’t sure if he could ever be in a long-term committed relationship. He seems so smart, but emotionally stunted and immature. Like he was looking to his parents to give him the answers.
Even his conversation with his dad lacked emotional intelligence and maturity. I don’t think we all have only one person that we can romantically make it work with for the rest of our lives. We have the ability to fall in love with so many people in this life, different types of love too. Instead of his dad painting being in love and in marriage as some sort of fairytale, it would have been nice to get some honest thoughts on the sacrifices he’s had to make to be her care giver, or some real talk about how after decades of marriage to stay becomes more of a choice than just about love.
Dotun
Hometown: Fresno, California
Family: Grandma Temitayo, mom Adenike, and her siblings whose names we didn’t get
Heading into Dotun’s hometown Charity is worried about problems that don’t exist with him. Because her date with Joey ended a little rocky, she’s worried this could end the same. Which is illogical, but ok. Her worry did confirm that Dotun and Joey are likely her top two choices though.
Dotun tells Charity that she won’t be able to meet his parents because they’re in Nigeria, but it was a fake out because they arrived fashionably late as a ‘surprise.’ As much as a 20+ hour flight from Nigeria to California can be. It also wasn’t lost on me that Dotun called his mom critical. Besides that, his family speaks so highly of him. He’s faithful, he’s generous with his time in a relationship, he’s loving, and a gentle giant. Before leaving the family, Dotun’s mom proclaims that she loves Charity and that she’s already her daughter. It was so pure and sweet. I’ve always wanted to marry into a family like that. 🥹
At the end of the night, they head to a makeshift drive-in movie where home videos and childhood pictures are projected onto a screen. It honestly looked like we were watching a family slideshow of their last decade together. By the end of it, Charity is in full-blown tears, but her makeup still looks perfect.
From a viewer’s perspective, Dotun’s hometown was perfect. My only complaint is that we didn’t get enough of the siblings, nor did we get to see all of their names. Part of being a more diverse and inclusive show is putting those traditional African names on screen the same way we get lower thirds for Uncle Joe and Sister Chelsea. It’s disappointing that one of the first times we’ve ever seen this many Black families on the show, we don’t get everyone’s name. Sure their names are pretty irrelevant after this episode, but I still would’ve liked to see it.
Charity Breaks Her Own Heart
Charity and Jesse Palmer are sitting in an unmarked location and recapping the hometowns she went on. She says that each date deepened her relationship with the men she has left. Charity tells Jesse she’s falling for all of her men and that she’s at the point where sending any of these men home also means breaking her own heart.
Why do we think they often have the hometown rose ceremonies in an airplane hangar? Does the eliminated man get right on the plane once being eliminated? Do the final three head to a nearby airport to fly to the next location? It happens too often to be a coincidence.
Anyway, Charity kicks off the rose ceremony by saying that the decision she’s about to make is the hardest of her life. Which I find hard to believe. Babygirl is a licensed child therapist, has a master’s degree, and grew up as one of the only Black girls in the South. But you not sure that Dotun is your man? BFFR.
In the end, Dotun, Xavier, and Joey are awarded a rose and Aaron is sent home. Through a lot of tears Charity admits that she’s unsure if she’s making the right decision in sending him home (she is) and Aaron seems dumbfounded. I can’t tell if he really believed it was him, or if he is a phenomenal actor.
Next week is fantasy suites and we’re in Fiji! Finally, a beautiful tropical location. The edit is trying to play us like Dotun is going home and that maybe someone comes back, but I don’t care who walks into that resort, Dotun is this woman’s husband. May it be so. Until next week!