Men Tell All: Bachelorette 20, Episode 8
The one where the life size Ken doll and the guy with the dangly earring almost come to blows.
The Men/Women Tell All is consistently the messiest and most confusing episode of the franchise each season and last night was no different. Normally, my approach to these episodes is to list my takeaways or the questions I still have after viewing, but I’m taking a different approach this time: unflinching judgment of the night’s biggest moments. In other words, a more expansive version of my live tweets. Enjoy! 😂
P.S. I will be in St. Louis, during the finale, screaming my heart out at Beyoncé’s Renaissance World Tour. Usually, I’d apologize for my absence and therefore my late recap, but I think you all understand Beyoncé > Bachelor Nation. I plan to watch/write my recap during the ride back to Chicago. So my recap won’t be in your inboxes, first thing Tuesday morning, but it will still be there next week!
The Battle of Ken & The Feather Earrings
Jesse wasted no time getting into the most obnoxious person of the season, Brayden. As always, the men began yelling over one another, questioning Brayden’s intentions, and hurling insults at him. One interesting takeaway from this segment that went on way too long was that none of the guys addressed their problems to Brayden’s face. The editing made it seem like the guys were telling Brayden he was annoying and also saying it in their interviews with producers, but they weren’t, which is kind of lame.
We also randomly learn that Brayden decided to admit to Peter, a pilot who went home night one, that all the guys were putting ‘FP’ in their first posts about being on The Bachelorette as a fuck you to this night one guy. On the one hand, mean that the guys did this, on the other, if half a dozen men decide that you were an ass after knowing you for five minutes, dude you might be an ass. Overall this first segment, was all over the place (as they tend to be) and a bit confusing at times. Hot seat me, please!
Xavier Hot Seat
Seeing the flashback of Xavier and Charity’s first one-on-one did not do him any favors. He asked her what her fears were about marriage and she said infidelity. After hearing that, he says he isn’t hiding any part of himself from her, but at the time he literally was. He hadn’t shared with her that he was unfaithful in his last relationship. Fucking yikes.
Xavier admits he stuck his foot in his mouth during their final date and should’ve made Charity feel like she was the only woman for him, which is (allegedly) how he was actually feeling at the time. He told Jesse he was really worried about his love for her not being reciprocated, especially after he told Charity he was falling for him at the end of his hometown.
Were we watching the same show though? I feel Charity did reciprocate his feelings at the end of his hometown. When he said he was falling in love with her, she said “Same here,” we literally saw the footage during this tell-all. What else did he want?
Anyway, Xavier admits he struggled after the show. He really fell in love with Charity and wasn’t sure what to do once he lost her. So, he started therapy, which we love to hear. Hope he stays in it and works through his own thoughts and confusion before trying to seriously date anyone else.
Charity’s Hot Seat
Charity did not seem as poised and prepared for her sit down with Jesse as she has all season. But her being a little off her game didn’t stop the men from taking turns sharing how classy and kind they thought she was, par for the course.
The real heat came during her sit down with Xavier. He immediately denounced cheating and admitted he should’ve either ended his relationship with his ex or had conversations with her to make the relationship better. Charity was disappointed that Xavier’s revelation came so late in the game, she said had she been privy to the info of his infidelity, he likely wouldn’t have gone as far as he did.
Xavier maintains that he did love Charity and wanted to be with her, but he let his doubt consume him. IDK y’all, he’s such a monotoned dude that it’s hard to take him seriously. He assures her that he saw her as his wife and wasn’t just trying to fuck her in the Fantasy Suite. He wanted more time to get his words together and share how he was feeling.
At the end of the segment, Xavier shares a knitted red rose he made for her. A cute gesture, but also a little awkward. Someone should’ve told him the hand-knitted bit was only cute when we thought he wasn’t a cheater.
OG Bachelorettes
Production rolled out three former Bachelorettes in celebration of the 20th season of the show. I’m still rather new to this franchise and I didn’t realize there were so many former Bachelorettes who managed to stay with their final choice over the years. Still, I couldn’t help, but notice how far back in the vault they had to go. It’s wild that we’ve got the second mono-racial Black Bachelorette and not one of the other Black women who came before her was in a good enough place with the franchise to show up on stage. I hope this was a wake-up call for production and instead of trying to ostracize their leads or make them a villain, they champion them and their love story.
It’s unacceptable that the treatment of Rachel, Tayshia, and Michelle was so shitty, they’ve distanced themselves, and in some cases officially denounced their involvement with the franchise. I hope Charity has had a better experience and continues to after her finale. It’s one thing if she and her final choice choose to distance themselves for privacy reasons, it’s another for the people in charge to make it hard for her to stick around and want to support.
Charity asked great, genuine questions and I felt that these women gave her honest, raw answers. I even loved that they included Deanna who isn’t with her final choice anymore, but still had great insight to share.
Golden Gerry
Before the night is over, Jesse Palmer invites our new Golden Bachelor out on stage! He is as cute and confused as he seems in the interviews and social media posts he’s been contractually obligated to appear in.
Gerry’s intro package was great. We got him confirming he passed the STD and drug test (v important!), we got the story of how his late wife passed, and even his first toast as the Bachelor (with his daughters and granddaughters). It was cute and I’m really excited to watch this new concept from this franchise! I’m also excited to see 60-something-year-olds get a little catty. Listen, when my granny gets to fussing, it’s hilarious, I expect nothing less from Gerry’s women.
Overall, Gerry seems like a guy who is just happy to be included and for another chance at love. It kind of broke my heart at how much he kept saying the woman he ends up with will complete him and his family 🥺. That read as so lonely to me, especially knowing he lives in a small Indiana town, where there aren’t many people around. I hope throughout his journey he finds that he’s already whole and that he finds a woman who compliments him perfectly.
That’s it for the Men Tell All! A pretty tame night all things considered. Personally, I’m ready to watch Charity choose her husband (Dotun).