Midwest is Best: Bachelorette 18, Episode 5
Justice for Leroy + other unchecked fuckery this week.
Before I begin, let us take a few seconds to appreciate Leroy Arthur, a biomedical Ph.D. student from Dallas, Texas. Listen, I am upset that we saw Leroy go home last night after getting very little from him while knowing he had so much more to give. Thanks for the mems Leroy, hope to see you on Paradise!
Okay, let’s move on (even though I’m not happy about it). I have to ask the question everyone is thinking: Did we really spend 50 minutes of last week’s episode on the fact that Nayte felt like he was guaranteed a one-on-one date, only for him to literally get a one-on-one date a week later?
Yes, yes we did.
The only downside about Michelle getting rid of men who are on fuck shit so quickly (Ryan, Jamie, Peter, etc.) is less drama for the producers to play with. I hate to say it, but maybe Jamie or pizza Peter should’ve stayed another week or two.
I am so glad we’re in the midwest to start the episode and for the rest of the regular season. I grew up in the midwest (Indiana), I went to college in the midwest (Missouri) and I’m still in the midwest (Chicago—which is its own state, this is a fact). I love this area of the country and it’s often deemed irrelevant, of flyover territory, so it’s good to see it highlighted differently on the show.
We start off with Brandon acting unreasonably excited to be in Minnesota. I for one am so glad that we’re seeing some travel this season. Seeing the men in the airport, on a plane, was great. I also always love seeing the leads in their element when they’re in their hometown, so to get to see Michelle here so early on in the season is great.
Michelle is reunited with her parents and talking about her experience so far. She says it’s been hard that she hasn’t been able to talk to them about the journey. I love this addition to the season. Talk about a grounding moment to be able to go home halfway through such an odd journey that very few people experience. If this show were actually invested in having the relationships last, I think they’d do more of this. I get it, being isolated gives you the tears, drama, the second-guessing, but having your besties or family members pop in every once in a while as a gut check would probably lead to a little more success.
She shares that she has 11 men left and that they’re mature, grown men (stares in Martin and Chris), she says these are some of the best men she’s ever met. I wanted her to name names and I’m going to assume she did off camera.
Tour De Minneapolis
Michelle meets the men in what looks like the center of downtown Minneapolis, no date card necessary. She says she has an exciting week of dates planned and that the first one is happening right away with Joe.
Joe getting the first one-on-one date in Minneapolis feels right. The men immediately notice the advantage this may give him.
The pair lock hands and walk off together to begin their date, before they even drive off they’re kissing and holding hands. Joe is so quiet, even in his ITMs, he’s pretty muted. We haven’t seen him talk much at all, even when the drama unfolding amongst the men centered him!
Back at the house, Brandon is sharing how he would’ve loved to get a date in her hometown, they are also acknowledging that Michelle and Joe both being from Minnesota is an advantage and it is, especially when you love your hometown/state as much as Michelle seems to. She hasn’t completely said it, but I get this vibe she’d be okay with planting some true roots in Minneapolis and likely wants a partner who’d be okay with doing the same. So to have someone like Joe who is already from the city and has a business there probably takes some pressure off and makes things easier.
They’re headed to a Minnesota “Twins” game and I only put that in parenthesis because the stands are empty. I don’t know if this team is good, I know nothing about baseball. Michelle basically throws out a pitch and dips.
Next, they’re at Michelle’s high school, which sounds awful. I don’t even want to take my fiancé to my high school. High school sucked and no part of me needs to relive that. But they seem to be enjoying it, they’re kissing and holding hands. Joe is really into everything Michelle is showing him, highlights from her basketball career, her old locker, yearbooks. Joe says he’s feeling more at home with her.
They enter the gym and Michelle says the court was her real stomping grounds. They play basketball and Michelle is in a dress kicking Joe’s ass. Watching them on the court together is amazing.
They take a break and Joe says it’s the best date he’s been on. Michelle says he’s doing great and that he reminds her of her dad and brother who are more reserved as well, while she and her mom are more open. I feel like this is a good sign. For better or for worse, we gravitate towards partners who remind us of our parents. Here’s hoping that’s more of a positive thing for Michelle than a negative.
Michelle asks Joe if he’s always been reserved and Joe says his dad is pretty reserved and doesn’t show a ton of emotion, so he mimics that and that it can be hard for him to let people in.
Back at the house, the guys ask Nayte if he feels like there’s a target on his back because of what Chris said about him last week, he says yes. A group date card arrives and Nayte’s name isn’t on it, meaning he is getting the second one-on-one of the week. Chris is unhinged and unwell. He says he went out on a limb and feels like he got the short end of the stick. Maybe he should just be thankful these buff ass dudes didn’t beat his ass and that he survived another week.
Before the evening portion of the night begins, we finally get a trigger warning for a conversation that is about to be had that involves depression and suicidal thoughts. There have been some heavy things shared so far this season, and no warnings given, glad it seems like ABC has heard the complaints. With that said, if you’d prefer not to read about Joe’s struggles, you can skip down 6 paragraphs (right after the photo).
Going into the night, Joe says he’s scared to be vulnerable with her (and others) but essentially says he knows it is what he needs to and wants to do. Michelle is geeked to be on this date with him and keeps mentioning that they’re both from Minessota, we get it, sis. We get it.
Michelle asks a very open-ended question “Tell me about Joe.” He begins by saying growing up sports were his world. He broke his leg in three places at a young age and knew that because of that injury it wouldn’t be good for his time on the court in the future. In college, he broke a part of his leg again and when getting it fixed, the screw in his bone was too large, so his bone shattered again, which meant another surgery. He eventually made it back on the court, but it was never the same.
Joe shares that mentally he was struggling. He said “ball was life and my life was gone,” it was so heartbreaking. All these tough moments led to him questioning if he even wanted to live, it took away from the other parts of his life, his time with friends, his relationship with his dad. That’s when he knew to hang it up and figure out who he was outside of basketball and move back home to Minneapolis.
I can’t relate to being a star athlete in my state and then it not working out in college or beyond, but I can relate to pursuing a career away from home and it not working out. Deciding to move home, no matter what the reason, is a difficult and humbling one. The last thing I wanted to do in my mid-twenties was go back home, I can imagine Joe might have felt similarly. I’m glad Joe felt it was the right move for him.
At this point, Michelle is crying with him, empathizing with him, it was a sad, but beautiful moment. How does Michelle always know the right thing to say? I am so impressed with her emotional intelligence and empathy. She’s so genuine when she’s with these men, it never feels like she’s regurgitating a line.
Completely unrelated: I feel like the cast was allowed to get haircuts this season, or had a barber on staff. Usually, by mid-season, the Black men have questionable hairlines, but Joe’s looked solid and so did Olu’s later in the episode. It’s such a small thing most wouldn’t notice, but I think part of having a more diverse cast, is providing culturally relevant resources for them. Previously, Mike Johnson spoke about being frustrated that he couldn’t find someone to cut his hair while traveling abroad on the show.
They share a kiss and Michelle says that there was something different behind it, more emotion and feeling. Obviously, Joe gets the date rose. Michelle says she’s so proud of Joe when she’s giving her date rose speech and I literally lost it y’all. You ever just feel how much someone loves another person from the way they look at them or talk to them? That’s the feeling I got.
Michelle says it was the most powerful, star-aligning date she’s ever been on. She described her and Joe as two souls that have been living side by side but didn’t know it and they were finally brought together. She is speaking in wedding vows five weeks in.
Their relationship looks easy, not just because they live in the same place already, but there’s this unspoken understanding and maybe it is because of basketball and Minnesota, but it honestly feels deeper than that.
Viking Victory
Heading into the group date, Michelle is still on a high after her date with Minnesota Joe. On this date: Casey, Rodney, Martin, Leroy, Clayton, Olu, Chris, and Brandon
The men are outside the Viking’s stadium, they’re excited to play football and meet NFL Viking players, but they’re meeting actual Vikings (likely paid actors). Talk about disappointment.
Michelle says two things she requires in a man are bravery and heart, so naturally, the men will be doing a series of challenges that highkey have nothing to do with either of those things.
The men have to yell and it’s very awkward, but Clayton seems very comfortable and in his element. Seems like those years on the Mizzou field prepared him for this moment.
These guys are really attentive this week, they’re stealing kisses, Rodney does his handshake with her, they’re giving her high fives and hugs. Seems they applied Michelle’s notes from last week, except Chris, he seems down, we’re hearing him complain in his interviews with the producers, it’s not a good look.
Now, the men are directed to change into Viking uniforms and Chris is in a fucking horse costume, I am sick 😂! Casey says “he went from being a horse’s ass to having a horse’s ass.” The producers are so shady.
The date takes a turn for the worst and it looks like men are trying pickled food or something. There are fish heads, mashed cow brains, it’s too much, this is not Fear Factor.
Lastly, the men are going head to head—or arm to arm—to arm wrestle. First up is Chris vs. Olu, yet another unfair match, Chris says he wants to tap out before even trying. He doesn’t, but he does lose.
At the end of the date, there can only be one ultimate Viking and that award goes to Clayton, probably because he yelled so much and already looks like a damn Viking.
Before the nighttime portion, Chris is loading that he’s upset and wants to speak to Michelle at the after-party. He seems like the type that can’t read the room and doesn’t know when to shut up.
At the after-party, Michelle thanks the men for stepping up after last week’s group date.
Clayton and Michelle get a moment together that still doesn’t show us why he is (spoiler alert) our next bachelor. Clayton asks her how she’s so confident and Michelle, confident as ever pretty much responds that she’s always been this way. We literally love to see it. No sob story, no I didn’t think I was pretty because I was a Black girl in a white world, just pure confidence. These two look like they could be really good friends that tried to date in high school or their early twenties, but eventually decided they were better off as friends. I’m not seeing long-term love between them.
We start to see the men interrupting a bit during this date. Brandon walks in on Clayton’s time with Michelle and he looks so giddy. This man is in love y’all, he is in LOVE. Brandon shares with Michelle that even though he doesn’t know how the journey will end, he’s invested in it. Personally, I’m getting worried about Brandon, nothing is wrong with him, but I think he’s really falling for her and I see him getting heartbroken. I feel preemptively sad for him because this seems like a first love situation.
Back around the group, the men are in agreement that they all stepped up their game this week. Casey calls out that Chris didn’t step up much though, which is hilarious because he was so pressed last week. Casey asks Chris if he felt like the men were doing better this week and Chris says yes and he was glad to make her laugh because of his costume.
Chris is clearly bothered, in his ITMs he’s sharing that he’s upset Nayte got a one-on-one after what he shared with the men and Michelle. I cannot stand an entitled man, especially a short one.
Martin and Chris are talking about Nayte’s one-on-one and Martin essentially tells him not to let his insecurity get the best of him. I know Martin likely means well, but why is he always involved in some mess? He’s always part of shady conversations, or he is the one starting them. Not a good look.
As the night goes on, Chris is getting increasingly upset that he hasn’t spoken to Michelle, but that’s on him. We keep seeing men interrupt one another and cut in, so I’m not sure why he isn’t doing the same. He has the nerve to say he doesn’t know why Michelle isn’t stepping up. Chris, you are on The Bachelorette, this shit is about her, not you.
When Michelle announces she’s wrapping up the date, Chris mouths ‘wow’ and looks upset. Michelle shares her nominations for the group date rose before awarding it to Clayton.
Everyone senses Chris’ attitude and he’s going on about her not saying thank you, or checking in to see if he’s ok. Chris, shut the fuck up. Men like him are the worst.
Testing the Waters
It’s not lost on me that the clear front runners both got one-on-ones this week, in Michelle’s hometown. I don’t think this is a coincidence. There’s something about that first date in your hometown, even in real life. Going on dates wherever you live as an adult is one thing, but getting to take your partner home, show them a more intimate part of your life is so special.
They’re on Lake Minnetonka and Michelle asks him what he thinks about Minnesota. It’s very clear from how hard she’s going for the state and how often she asks certain men about the city/state that she wants to stay in Minnesota, at least for now and she’s expecting a partner to do the same. I wonder if she’s straight-up saying this to these men, but we just aren’t seeing?
Michelle lets Nayte know that she’s about to turn their one-on-one into a group date and her two best friends, Aly and Tia show up. I was not impressed by their performance. I am the friend that usually meets my friends’ partners last or one-on-one rather than in a group setting. I’m blunt, I ask tough questions, and you honestly cannot bullshit me.
It was weird that her friends asked Nayte who was there for the wrong reasons. You have a finite amount of time to get to know this man who’s vying for your friend’s heart, but you’re asking about other men? That’s so unnecessary. Nayte pretty much talks around the question, so they ask it in a different way and get him to share the situation with Chris. Even though uncomfortable, Nayte seemed pretty calm and confident and very unphased by Chris, as it should be.
We don’t get much more from Aly or Tia and to me their appearance felt like a waste. They say their physical chemistry is clear and pretty much wish them luck and leave. Her friends ain’t do enough for me, they had him rehash some BS drama when Chris is not even a factor. We should not have wasted so much as 30 seconds on talking about him with her best friends. I’m sure her friends asked other questions to get to know Nayte, but we didn’t see that, why? Why do we still know nothing about Nayte?
Michelle is excited that her Minneapolis world and the Bachelorette world got to collide a bit for this date. She says going into dinner with Nayte, she plans to ask the hard questions so she can have deeper conversations and see if their feelings are aligned (spoiler alert: she literally doesn’t do this).
Back at the house, Chris is still talking about Michelle making the wrong choice in Nayte and Martin is there backing him up. They’re both trash.
Michelle wastes no time sharing what her time on Matt’s season taught her. She said it showed her the importance of being more vulnerable. They begin to talk about what’s important to them in a relationship.
Nayte says communication is key and that he wants someone to call him out on his crap. He also mentions that he wants to have fun and doesn't like being serious all the time.
Michelle says she can relate to that feeling and shares a story from her last relationship. She said she got really sick, couldn’t keep food down, and was in and out of the doctor’s office running tests. She was dating a guy at the time who wasn’t checking in on her during this and eventually told her he couldn’t take care of her. Despite all the medical tests she took, what it came down to was severe anxiety from her toxic relationship. She says that relationship taught her to never get into another relationship where what she’s putting in isn’t reciprocated.
This is the first date where we’re learning about Michelle, but we still aren’t learning about Nayte. Do you all remember that one date on Colton’s season where he’s on a one-on-one with some girl and she says he doesn’t have a sob story because her life has been pretty perfect? This is the energy Nayte was giving. he didn’t say his life was easy, but it’s like he said his piece about his family not being close in episode one and we’ve gotten nothing since. Something is off. I don’t actually expect contestants to share their most traumatic life moments on television, in fact, I hate that this is an expectation of going on the show, but we aren’t getting much of anything from Nayte and that is my issue.
As the date winds down, Michelle says the day was one of her favorite dates, which excites Nayte, but she called Joe’s date the stars aligning, soooo who really won the week?
Of course, here comes Chris interrupting their date. Michelle looks legit disgusted to see him. She agrees to go talk to him and Naye is visibly upset. This was also the moment when I noticed Michelle and Nayte were dressed similarly, cute. Chris says he feels insecure showing up on the date and was disappointed he didn’t get to speak with her on the group date, even though that was his fault.
Chris is mad that Michelle still decided to keep Nayte and take him on a one-on-one date despite Chris sharing what he said to the guys last week. He claims to care about Michelle not getting hurt or making the wrong decisions. Michelle says she was caught off guard when he spoke for her at the cocktail party and Chris has the audacity to question when she didn’t say something at the moment. As if that would have gone over well.
Michelle says she doesn’t want a man to speak for her, but to stand next to her, while she speaks up for herself. She reminds Chris that this is her decision, her journey, and she says she doesn’t see their relationship progressing. So, she walks him out. Not the outcome he was expecting I’m sure. What is it about men like Chris, how is your head so far up your own ass that you can’t see the error for your own ways? The reality is, Chris wasn’t going to last much longer anyway.
She returns to her date with Nayte and tells him, she sent Chris home. She calls their chemistry undeniable and gives him the date rose. Again, I see it with Nayte, but I also don’t. The physical chemistry is so clear, but I lowkey feel like we’ve seen Rodney and Rick connect with her on an intellectual level more than we’ve seen Nayte. I know I said I didn’t trust him at first, mostly because of his name, but at this point, I’m looking at Michelle funny. Sis, are we looking for a husband or a fun fantasy suite (which, who would blame her if that were it) because we still don’t know anything about this man except that he’s hot.
Martin is Low Budget and Leroy Deserved More Shine
It’s time for the cocktail party and the men without roses are nervous, they're starting to feel the weight of this journey.
Michelle addresses letting Chris go by saying he wasn’t her person. She also thanks the men again for making her feel seen. She’s giving us another jewel tone and looks great! It really seemed like the styling department was struggling through Katie’s season, but they came to play this season and they came with a budget!
Rick and Michelle are walking around downtown Minneapolis having fun and goofing off. I know people have said Rick can be a bit intense, but I love the way he looks at her, he does not miss a moment to make eye contact when communicating. Again, we get Michelle asking if he’d move to Minneapolis, he says yes, which seems to catch Michelle by surprise.
While Michelle is presenting a birthday cake to Brandom, Rodney is reciting his line about not being the tallest/smartest/whateverest in the room which is so obnoxious because he’s cute, he’s funny, and just seems like a good, genuine guy. Stop playing this soundbite from Rodney! And Rodney (who is definitely reading this rn) please think better of yourself!
Next, we get this conversation with Martin and Michelle about what makes a high-maintenance partner. He says that women in Miami are too high maintenance. Michelle asks him what makes women high-maintenance and he says it’s because they expect men to do everything for them (uhh has Martin met men, especially these men from my generation?) and that men don’t expect the same. Michelle just laughs. I have one question for Martin: are women high maintenance, or are you low budget?
Martin turns to the guys and talks about the conversation he had with Michelle. It felt like he was looking for the men to agree with him, but they aren’t idiots. Olu says Martin seems two-faced (and is).
Time for the rose ceremony, Joe, Clayton, and Nayte already have roses. Rick gets the first rose followed Olu, Brandon, Martin, and the final rose goes to Rodney. We didn’t even get an ITM of the other men saying they hoped to get a rose.
Going Home are Leroy and Casey. This rose ceremony was a wake-up call that the rest of the season the cuts are going to be hard for Michelle and potentially sad for us as we see favorites go home. Casey was a great narrator, so his commentary will be missed and Leroy was just a good-looking, stylish dude I wish we saw more of this season. For a while there, he was getting roses early in the ceremony, so its so weird we literally saw very little from him in ITMs or with Michelle.
We get a preview of the rest of the season, all the guys are talking about falling in love, Brandon is calling Michelle his wife, Clayton is crying, Nayte is accused of being an actor, somebody’s daddy saying they son ain’t ready for marriage, seems like a lot of mess. Can’t wait!
I usually don’t call out the tags at the end, but we got Olu feeding Michelle Jollof rice! We love to see it! Listen, if you’re reading this and don’t know what Jollof rice is, your only goal for the rest of the week is to find some in your city, bonus points if its got goat meat in it. Please, just do it and report back in the comments.