Roses in Bloom: Bachelor 28, Episode 5
Halfway through the process, and the ladies are feeling the pressure.
Hello, good people, and Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you spend the day luxuriating in whatever your heart desires. I know I will be.
Let’s get into it.
No cold open this week, we’re dropped in exactly where we ended the previous night. Maria is crying and asking to go home, the women are feeling the tension in the cocktail party and Lea is telling Joey she’s committed to starting fresh and moving on despite her disagreeing with the choice to keep Maria another week. It’s comical that we get Lea saying this at the top of the episode because she spends the rest of the episode coming for Maria’s neck.
Jesse comes in and announces the cocktail party has ended and that with each week the decisions are getting tougher for Joey because they hold more weight. Maria is still crying when she joins the women.
Joey says his decisions at the rose ceremony reflect how he’s feeling and not wanting to lead anyone on.
The first rose goes to Kelsey A. and Lea gets the last for dramatic effect. Edwina and Allison—one of my final four picks are going home. At the end of the night, Maria proclaims that she’s here to stay and not going anywhere (girl, all that crying and dramatics for why?) and Joey announces that they’re headed to Andalusia, Spain.
Now that they’re in the south of Spain, they’re all looking to reset and get back on track. For many of the women, the weight of this process is becoming clearer and they’re all vying for one-on-one time with Joey.
Joey pulls up on a Vespa and invites Kelsey A. on her first solo date of the season. As they ride away, Maria asks the women if they would’ve taken the card Lea threw in the fire. I like this pot-stirring question. Most of the women lie and say no, but Kelsey T. admits she would’ve at least kept it in her back pocket and considered using it.
The women are emotional at seeing Joey take another woman on a date, both Kelsey T. and Rachel step away for a moment to cry and process.
A Lizzie McGuire Vespa Moment
I’ve been getting Kelsey A. and Lexi confused, so having their one-on-one dates back to back actually helps. Kelsey A. and Joey are walking around the city looking for picnic ingredients. They taste some shark coochie meat and wine and settle in the Spanish desert.
Joey and Kelsey are in a cave for dinner and the prop/set design department did what needed to be done because the backdrop was incredible! All the shots were stunning.
Kelsey shares that her mother has been integral to the person she is today. She was in the military and won several awards for her service and served as a true role model for Kelsey. Unfortunately, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and it was aggressive and quick. Her mother passed just a few months later. At this point, Joey grabs her hand and continues listening intently. His eye contact is unlike anything I’ve ever seen from a man on this show before.
We expect contestants to share the lowest parts of their lives during their one-on-ones, but it works best when the contestants can relate what they’re sharing back to the journey they’re currently on. Kelsey did that flawlessly. She was honest about the doubts she had going into this process, and the reassurance she needed from her dad, and her late mother, in the form of butterflies. She talked about how it might feel to be at the end of this process with Joey, and not be able to share it with her mom. The entire time Joey just listened and comforted her. It was such a sweet moment.
Bachelor Art Class
On the date: Lexi, Daisy, Jen, Autumn, Maria, Katelyn, Madina, Lea, Jess, and Kelsey T.
Kelsey T. is devastated that she’s on another group date instead of a one-on-one, but she’s got no choice, but to suck it up and show up.
The women are at a beautiful villa with an artist named Paula. She directs them to write a sentence expressing how they feel about Joey. Then, they are to paint a picture that reflects that sentence. Joey drew himself with a ring in his hand ready to propose, Maria painted the ‘storm before the calm’ alluding to her drama with Sydney, and Lea painted a hibiscus and roses in bloom to signify their love blooming.
There were several paintings better than Jess’—who painted stars and two wedding rings—but she ended up winning an opportunity to do couples painting with Joey, which was essentially just them dressed in white swimsuits and making out on top of a big ass canvas with paint. I thought Jess was a producer plant, but we’re halfway through the season and she’s still here, so maybe Joey is actually feeling her.
To kick off the cocktail party, Joey pulls Jenn first and she shares how the pressure of the week has been tougher than previous ones. Her feelings are growing for him and Joey feels the same. He says in his interview with producers that he sees a future with Jenn.
For the second week in a row, Kelsey T. uses her time with Joey to share that her feelings for him are real, but she wants more with him, more one-on-one time, and more time for him to get to know her. Joey responds with “just be patient,” which I kind of hate. I know as the lead he can only say so much, but this is always the part of this show where I wonder what can be done to switch it up. It’s always the contestants doing/sharing something special, but what would it look like for mini-dates or smaller moments to be made with the contestants who go on group dates week after week?
Next, Maria shares a story about being an infant in a car accident and how it has affected her relationship with her mom to this day. I didn’t fully follow, but I agreed with Joey’s comments, it’s nice to see her in a different light than we have so far this season. Her moment of vulnerability got her the date rose. Which pissed off Lea.
Let’s Dance
Joey and Rachel are in the city of Marbella and Rachel is hoping to feel comfortable enough to grow their relationship throughout the date.
In a perfect callback to their first moments together during the week one group date, the pair are taking a Flamenco class. Joey got on these leprechaun boots with shorts and he looks silly but is taking it in stride. After a quick lesson, they join a performance and seem to have a great time.
During the nighttime portion, we got to hear about Rachel’s career, which I loved so much. She talked about her demanding and emotional career as an ICU nurse and explained how it might affect her romantic relationships. This conversation felt similar to the conversation Rachel Recchia had during her season about how pilots are painted because of the demanding nature of their careers. More conversation of women talking about their demanding, but fruitful careers, please!
I like Rachel. She seems like she has a good head on her shoulders, she’s confident and isn’t afraid to be a little weird or poke fun at Joey. They aren’t at the level Joey is with some of the other women, but there’s something about their connection that feels more realistic to me. Despite the way their “slow burn” Joey gladly gives her the date rose.
Cocktail Party + Rose Ceremony
All of these women are in their heads going into the cocktail party. The women who haven’t gotten much time with him are starting to stick out. Like Autumn—who is this woman and how is she still here?
Jess is also feeling some type of way. She hasn’t had time with Joey beyond their painting date earlier in the week, so when she hears Maria—who already has a rose—is ‘stealing’ time with him, she loses it and calls Maria disrespectful. We learn when Jess got special time with Joey during the group date, she made sure to not bombard him at the cocktail party that night and let the other women get time with him first. That’s noble of her, but baby you’re here to end up with Joey, not to play fucking ring around the rosie.
The internet seems staunchly team Maria. I am team nobody. Lea should’ve kept that date card that gave her a leg up in this competition—because that’s what this show is, a competition. Sydney should’ve stayed quiet and eaten her fucking KFC, Jess shouldn’t have been so worried about giving all the other women time during the group date, and Maria should stop acting so confused about why some of the women don’t fuck with her. None of these women tussling for Joey’s affection are likable.
As expected, the cocktail party ends without Jess getting time with Joey.
Two rose ceremonies in one episode!?! I just knew they were going to leave us with a cliffhanger. Jenn gets the first rose, and my girl Kelsey T. gets the second one—and she better get a one-on-one next week, or else 😤. More roses get handed out and the final rose goes to Jess, so I guess she can’t blame Maria this week. Madina and Autumn are headed home.
Next week, the ladies are headed to Canada, which is where Maria is from, so I’m expecting her to be extra insufferable. Til then, thanks for rocking with me for two days straight ✌🏾