Sex Week: : Bachelor 27, Episode 10 Recap
Another dumb man thinks with the wrong head and potentially ruins everything.
It's Sex Week people! Everyone is supposed to be having sex! But Zach’s goal is to focus on emotions and get to know his final three women without the cameras, so for him, that means absolutely no sex. But, spoiler alert, he fails, which was both hilarious and hugely disappointing. More on that later.
Zach and his final women are in Thailand and are all very aware that they are inching toward an engagement. Gabi is ready to tell him she’s falling in love, Ariel is interested in exploring their chemistry further, and Kaity is falling even deeper in love with Zach.
Jesse and Zach are chatting about the week ahead. They use this opportunity to mention (again) how awful his fantasy suite was with Rachel. I would love to know about that damn night between the two of them. What went so wrong that they both walked away feeling so awful?
Zach also takes this time to share with Jesse that he won’t be having sex of any kind (lol at him making that distinction) with the women during overnights. He says the decision came after speaking with Sean Lowe. Even though he knows he’ll be tempted, it’s important for him not to have sex with multiple women right before an engagement. Honestly, sound judgment from Zach. I never understood the leads who said after their season that they knew who they were gonna pick early on, but still decided to have sex with multiple people during the Fantasy Suite week.
If you take this show at face value, and the goal at the end is to get engaged to someone who is your life partner, why would you risk that on a one-night stand with someone you know you’re not gonna pick? But also, physical intimacy is a really important part of a long-term partnership. I personally would not want to get engaged to someone before seeing what they’re like in bed.
At this point in the episode, Zach’s thinking felt pretty rational. Then it got worse.
Ariel
Ariel is up first and they’re strolling a Thai night market. They do the stereotypical American thing where they give one another looks about how weird the locals are for eating [insert local dish here]. At best, this type of behavior is rude, at worst, it’s racist. Just try the local delicacy and move on. Let’s stop making it a plot line in these shows, even if it’s a brief one.
During this date, we also get a buildup of their sexual chemistry. Maybe production has been painting Ariel like this for a while, but the edit was really giving “this girl loves sex and is a whore.” I don’t believe that about her, but the weird porn music, the close-up of them kissing, and the amplified kissing noises all gave off that vibe. It felt so heavy-handed.
While they’re enjoying their date, we see the beginnings of Gabi’s implosion. She’s feeling insecure and her self-doubt is building. She knows she isn’t the only woman left and it’s getting to her.
At dinner, Zach shares that he really could see a future with Ariel, something he told all the families last week as well. I know it’s not the same as saying “I love you/I’m falling for you,” but is it really any better? Telling a person that you really see a future with them, and that you’re excited about it is not ideal when there are multiple hearts on the line.
The next morning, we get the usual shot of clothing on the ground and cuddles in bed. This looks like a couple that did not have sex. Their goodbye seemed forced and anti-climactic.
Gabi
Gabi is still questioning where she stands with Zach and is scared about opening up to him, but she does her best to enjoy the boat ride and beach day they have planned.
She’s concerned with being the second choice because it’s a feeling she’s had often before in relationships. Zach assures her that the order doesn’t matter (I call bullshit) and that he sees something with her, again something he’s said to the other women as well. I liked that Zach took a moment to reset and let Gabi share her feelings, that seemed to help calm her fears.
I feel like I’ve mentioned age more this season than I ever have before, but I have to chalk some of this behavior up to Gabi’s age. If not age, where she is in her healing journey. As you get older, you get to this place where you are able to separate what’s fact and what is just a feeling. The fact is someone was going to have to be second and someone was going to have to be third during this week. As viewers, we know there are some statistics to support what it means to go first, second, or third (thanks Bachelor Data) but to some extent, Gabi needed to trust what she felt for Zach and enjoy it while it was there.
During dinner, we find out Gabi was cheated on and once she found out, she looked the other way instead of standing up for herself. We also learn that Zach was cheated on too. They bond over this unexpected shared experience and share how they still have to push to work through doubts and moments of self-hate. Gabi ends by sharing that she’s falling in love with him.
Before heading to the Fantasy Suite, Zach shares with her that he’s not having sex in any of his overnights. Gabi looks legit pissed. She even makes a comment that she probably wouldn’t get engaged without experiencing intimacy with a person. We don’t get to see Zach’s facial reaction to this revelation. In her interviews with producers, she’s doubtful about Zach’s decision and almost hints that she could change his mind. At least that’s the vibe I was getting. I didn’t love that. I understand feeling upset because the choice to be intimate was made for her, but if someone shares their boundary with you, your only choice is to respect it.
They get in a boat and head to a private hut (?) on the water. This feels a little bit too much like camping for me so I wouldn’t be interested. I also wondered what the AC situation was like and if it got really hot at night.
The next morning, Gabi and Zach look cozy and natural with one another, almost like we’ve never seen the two of them before. And then we find out they had sex. Zach makes it clear that they were two consenting adults and that “it was an act of love, not lust,” but he still feels guilty and like he should share with the other women. Zach’s response to having sex was giving a man who grew up being taught to be ashamed of his sexual desires. We find out toward the end of the episode that he was raised Catholic and I’m just going to say, that tracks.
I respect Zach for wanting to be honest and move through this process with integrity. I think he has been a Bachelor with a lot of integrity, but I don’t know that he needed to share this. In fact, I wish he would have just told each of the women that he wasn’t having sex with them in the actual fantasy suite without cameras present. Then production wouldn’t even have been given an opportunity to capitalize on this storyline. Now he feels like he needs to share the fact that he and Gabi had sex with the other women.
Before his date with Kaity, he goes to see Gabi to tell her (not ask, tell) that he will be sharing with the other women (and the entire world—because TV show) that they fucked. Gabi immediately seems to have an issue and is bothered by the fact that a moment that was meant to be private between the two of them—which is the entire point of fantasy suites—will now be something that everyone knows about, in addition to being fodder for Bachelor Nation.
To quell her concerns, Zach tells her that he’s falling in love with her, which was an even Dumber move than insisting on sharing with everyone that they had sex. Gabi doesn’t even seem excited by this revelation. She is clearly still processing that this guy that she had a very private moment with wants to make that private moment super public. I watched this segment with my mouth wide open the entire time. Originally, I thought that it was Katherine’s game to lose, then I thought that it was Kaity‘s game to lose, but for him to have sex with Gabi and tell her that he’s falling in love with her makes it seem like she could be the final choice. Why else would you go through all of this? If it’s not that, then it feels like he had sex with her just to quiet her fears of not being his final choice, which would also be fucked up.
Kaity
Zach and Kaity are on a tiny rowboat, cruising through the jungle and the vibes are off. Zach is sweating, he’s fumbling over his words and eventually gets out that his plan going into the week was no sex. He then says a lot has changed and evolved and he wants to be honest about it. He shares he’s been intimate, despite his goal of not being intimate during this week.
Kaity doesn’t have many words, she says it sucks, but that she knew that intimacy with other women was part of the journey. She wishes he wouldn’t have shared that with her. She says she respects that he was able to be honest with her about it, but she assumed that he was going to be intimate with other women and didn’t need it confirmed. In her ITM she says she’s crushed and that his sorry means very little becuase she knows he isn’t sorry that he had sex.
I’m not sure there was an optimal time for Zach to share this with Kaity, but surely there was a better option than them being in the middle of a thunderstorm deep in a fucking jungle. Perhaps dinner was a better choice? I think Zach really believed being overly honest was the noble thing to do and maybe it would be for the right woman.
After seeing so many leads get this wrong over the last few seasons, I believe the issue isn’t a lack of honesty. The issue is that the men specifically assume what the women might want during this week or how they might feel, instead of just asking them. Why not take a breath and ask about expectations? My biggest issue when we reach this point each season, especially on The Bachelor is the way in which decisions are made. Regardless of how weird the premise of this week is, if you see yourself with one of these women at the end more than the others, that is the relationship you protect! I would not want to be in this position and have to explain to my final choice during the watch back all the decisions I made that didn’t support us being together.
This was uncomfortable to watch. Zach has been portrayed as such a decisive guy all season and this decision felt so selfish and thoughtless. Despite the messy way the day unfolded, Kaity showed up for the nighttime portion of the date ready to talk it out. Zach shares that it’s impossible for him to lie, he had so much guilt from keeping his intimate moment to himself, so he wanted to share it with Kaity. She says she understands his choice and that relationships aren’t always going to be rainbows and sunshine, so she’s ready to move forward. She agrees to an overnight with him.
Rose Ceremony
We don’t get to see Kaity and Zach’s morning after, instead, they go straight into a rose ceremony. At this point, it’s unclear if Ariel knows he was intimate with another woman, despite his boundary and Gabi says she felt like Zach got to clear his concise at the expense of her feelings. What a great way to describe what we saw. Zach going to Gabi after they were intimate to share what he wanted to do, but not asking about how she felt or what she would like was selfish. People will say Gabi knew what she signed up for, but before recent seasons, these people were able to hook up or not in the Fantasy Suites and the audience was left to wonder. There is a big difference between signing up to be one of several women he’s dating and signing up to share your sex life on national TV.
Zach’s roses go to Kaity and Gabi, which means Ariel, our mature queen had to say goodbye. Ariel and Zach have a whispery goodbye.
Back at the ceremony, Kaity whispers to Gabi that she knows she was the one he was intimate with. Gabi says she feels like a red A is on her chest (a reference to The Scarlet Letter, if somehow you didn’t know that). She doesn’t even look happy to be there. As Zach gives a toast and talks about what’s coming next, Gabi says she feels like he’s only looking at Kaity and is completely unaware of how hurt and confused she’s feeling. They toast to love and we get a preview for the next week.
Next week, Kaity and Gabi are meeting Zach’s family and dealing with the fallout of Fantasy Suites, and Zach’s holding the ring he picked out as if it will solve everything. I’m stumped on who he might pick. It feels like a toss-up at this point. Part of me believes there is no way he’d have sex with only Gabi and then not pick her. Especially since she’s been so in her head all season, I cannot imagine that would end well. There seems to be an ease with Kaity that I think a lot of people would gravitate to. She seems more established and confident and they live in the same city! Guess we’ll find out what’s what next week. ✌🏾