The (Fantasy) Suite Life: Bachelorette 20, Episode 7
Baby girl, you do not love all these men equally. BFFR.
We are in stunning Fiji and production made sure to give us every gratuitous shot that they could have at this resort. Fiji was already on my travel list, but the first five minutes of this episode sold me even more.
Before we get into the specifics of Fantasy Suites, I have beef with Charity. Maybe it’s more with the show at this point, but Charity is currently the vessel for this complaint, so, same difference.
Recently, this show has thrived on the lead “falling in love” with more than one contestant. I’m not here to debate whether that’s possible or not because I don’t really care. What I do care about is Charity holding falling/being in love as the same as finding a life partner. I’ve said this during other seasons, but love is not enough to sustain 20, 30, 45, etc. years of marriage. Life happens, loved ones die, babies are born, and your partner lets you down. This isn’t to say that you should put up with just anything, but to me, the test of a relationship going the distance is not just being in love with your partner, but choosing them actively, daily, and making sure your actions reflect that choice as well. Of course, that level of trust and intimacy is likely hard to build in eight-ish weeks with a camera in your face, which is why the forced proposal is stupid.
Maybe it’s because they’ve been hitting us over the head with the narrative that Charity has real feelings for all the men she has left, but at a certain point last night, I wondered why there was such a focus on feelings, but not on practicality and life compatibility. Charity may be falling/in love with all these men, but there is no way she can reasonably see her life, or even the near future with each of them. Xavier is the only one who lives in the same state as her and has the type of demanding career I feel Charity can relate to. Joey lives three timezones away from North Carolina, and Dotun doesn’t seem to be seriously employed and also maybe splits his time in Nigeria. For none of this to come up over the last few weeks is telling and makes me feel like none of these people should be getting married.
Anyway, Charity begins her time in Fiji with Jesse Palmer going through the men she has left and how she’s feeling about each of them. I was happy to hear she felt like Xavier was just saying he was falling in love because he feels like he’s supposed to because that is definitely what it was giving to me. She says her time with Dotun has been too good to be true and so that places doubt in her mind. Finally, she’s excited about Joey as well, but his family making comments about “the real Joey” have her feeling like she can’t trust what she’s seen of him so far.
Xavier
Xavier is giving us another fashion moment with his cheetah print button-down. His clothing choices have been my favorite all season. The couple is on a private island and enjoying a welcome performance from Fijian cultural leaders who claim they can see the love between the two of them upon their first hello.
Charity is carried along the beach on a literal throne and Xavier’s fine ass is shirtless and oily. They looked beautiful. The locals have set up a traditional Fijian pre-wedding ceremony. I never know how to feel about these types of rituals and ceremonies. At a certain point I can’t help, but wonder if this is an accurate depiction of island traditions or if production just paid a few brown people to play locals to pander to their majority white audience. Considering the track record of this franchise, it could be either.
After their morning of rituals, we cut to Aaron B. packing a suitcase and heading to Fiji. A terrible choice. He says some shit about unfinished business and having more to say, but it doesn’t really matter. Nothing he said could have convinced me that this was normal behavior. It gave unhinged, it gave doesn’t respect women’s choices, and it gave wanted a free trip to Fiji. I was hoping the surprise guest during this week was Charity’s brother, or a best friend or something, not some man trying to come back for 15 more minutes of fame.
Headed into dinner, Charity wants one clear answer: is Xavier ready to be engaged and commit to one person for the rest of his life? I think the fact that she’s two weeks from an engagement and doesn’t feel like she knows his answer is telling.
Xavier starts their nighttime conversation by explaining why he is hesitant about this process and being in a marriage with Charity. He said he finds himself being overly concerned about the small details of their day-to-day and what that could look like with her. Charity quickly quells those fears with a simple “We don’t know what we don’t know,” and she’s right.
But Xavier’s confessions don’t end there. He shares that in his last relationship, he was unfaithful, something that Charity has been very openly against (I mean I don’t think anyone is for cheating, but you get what I mean). Charity excuses herself from the dinner table after hearing this. She’s overwhelmed. This revelation shocked me too. This is what they should’ve been teasing all season!
I feel like Bachelor Nation podcasts and recaps keep dismissing Charity’s experience of being cheated on because she’s so young and was even younger when it happened, but when you love someone and are convinced they’re your forever, finding out about infidelity is gut-wrenching and hearing that a man you’re falling for has a history of that as well has got to be triggering. I respect Charity for gathering herself to come back to the conversation, but I feel like she’s kidding herself. No amount of specifics is going to make Xavier’s confession any better. Her questions for him were good, and Xavier’s answers were satisfying enough, but at the end of the day Charity shouldn’t have to walk a grown man through his choice of infidelity to understand him or hope he will choose her in a few weeks and remain faithful throughout their relationship.
It also wasn’t lost on me that he couldn’t just say “no, I won’t cheat on you.” He kept making excuses, adding technicalities, and then finally saying that his decision hinged on if they’d get to spend time together in the fantasy suite. BOY BYE.
Xavier not only revealed that he cheated because his girlfriend wasn’t being who he wanted her to be, but also that his friends ain’t shit and lack integrity because it sounds like it happened on a boys’ trip. Fuck that.
I wanted to shake Charity towards the end of the conversation where she’s asking him if he believes he can be faithful because 1) he was not giving a straight answer and 2) SHE IS THE FUCKING PRIZE! Sure, we are at the point where the men have to choose her back, but that does not mean she has to sit there and unpack Xavier’s behavior with him to trust that he won’t do it again.
Respect to Xavier for his honesty and for telling the world that he’s a cheater, but that conversation was a train wreck. I also have the utmost respect for Charity for standing up for herself, choosing herself, and sending Xavier home. She gave us a master class in honest, respectful, open communication. We know a Black woman could not have a Hannah Brown or Katie Thurston moment where she went off on him. It wouldn’t have landed well, nor would it have solved anything. What we saw instead was so mature and refreshing to watch.
Joey
Charity is still rattled by Xavier’s revelation, she’s also worried about what Uncle Joe had to say about not knowing the real Joey. But she’s doing her best to put that aside and enjoy her day with Joey.
They’re supposed to be going on a thrilling ATV ride, but it won’t start, so they’re trudging through the jungle instead, which I imagine Joey does on random Wednesdays in Hawaii. They find a spot to stop and chat and Charity takes the time to ask why his family felt that she wasn’t getting the real him. He says that he was shocked to see his uncle on his hometown date with Charity and it made him feel awkward. He also acknowledges that his family’s concerns are valid, but that he hasn’t felt out of place or not like himself in this journey.
Charity is ready to tell Joey that she’s falling in love with him 🙄. This show has put an annoying amount of pressure on this phrase when it really doesn’t mean anything. While she’s ready to express her love for him, Joey is ready to drop more emotional bombs on her it seems. Why do these men insist on waiting until overnight dates to say really important things?
Joey shares his concern about Charity not being able to see him through all of his seasons (sad, mad, angry, etc.). A fair concern. To me, that’s what makes this process the most unrealistic. Both the lead and contestants are saying yes to one another before they get to see them in their day-to-day life. Charity relates a lot to what he says and even admits to being a bit of a people pleaser.
After bonding over their similar insecurities Joey shares that he’s in love with her and Charity says it back! Why!? I like Joey, but not for Charity. I don’t trust him, something is off and I don’t know what. Alas, Joey is invited to the fantasy suite and he says yes.
The next morning, Charity says she’s beaming and “joy is within her heart.” She also says a love with Joey feels eternal and she keeps saying she’s in love with him. Big statements. Joey looked incredibly comfortable as well. It was at this point that I had doubts about her relationship with Dotun, her husband.
Dotun
Charity and Dotun are going jet skiing for the day and in the back of her mind she’s worried that things are too good to be true with him. I’m dating someone whose temperament is similar to Dotun’s, so I feel confident psychoanalyzing him a bit and saying that he is just a chill dude. It’s not that he doesn’t get upset, or isn’t angered by things, but I feel like he’s confident in himself and what he’s feeling that he doesn’t need to get bogged down by outside noise, mess, or stress. I think this is why we didn’t see him in the house drama, it’s why we saw him enjoying the group dates, but not trying to be the star, and it’s serving him well now because instead of being overly concerned with where Charity is at with the other men (he’s not even aware Xavier is gone) he’s only worried about their journey.
They pick a spot on the beach to sit and chat. Charity shares how much she loved Dotun’s family and Dotun admits that he’d never watched the show and didn’t know that the process typically ended with an engagement until recently. He said once he found out, he was like “I’m cool with that,” which is such a chill response and really drives home the type of guy he seems to be. As long as the vibes don’t feel off, he’s down for whatever.
Charity’s slinky white sequin dress is giving bridal and I’m going to take that as a sign despite what she said to Joey on their date. While Dotun is confident in his feelings—he even says he loves her in his interview with producers—he’s also a bit nervous that he hasn’t heard how she’s really feeling about him.
They’re talking about the journey they’ve had so far together and they both marvel at how they don’t have any doubts about the other person or where they’re at with one another. Dotun says that the scary part of this process is that he’s not scared. He truly believes the universe brought them together and that’s why he’s confidently able to say he loves her. Charity reciprocates as if she hasn’t seen this show since she was a teenager. GIRL. We have to be better. I don’t like when the leads tell more than one person that they love them (Clayton 😒) not because it’s impossible, but because it gives this fandom a reason to really vilify the lead, especially the women. I don’t want that for Charity, she’s been so great all season and the haters have managed to stay (mostly) quiet.
The next morning, Charity and Dotun look exhausted in the best way. Like they stayed up all night just enjoying one another’s company. There is no way for me to say that without it sounding sexual, even though I truly do not mean it that way. At the end of Joey’s overnight I was doubtful that Dotun stood a chance, but just seeing them together feels right. With Joey, there’s puppy love, I feel like they’re both still trying to impress one another. When she’s with Dotun, it feels like mature love. We see this in little ways, like the way she lets her hair do whatever when she’s with him, or the fact that she wasn’t wearing any makeup the next morning with him, but was in a full face with Joey. Some of that could be production too, but I’m choosing to be a little delulu and act like these are signs.
Aaron’s Arrival
There is no other way to say it, Aaron flying halfway across the country for a woman that dumped him with her entire chest the prior week is bozo behavior. We didn’t even need this drama given the conversation we got between Xavier and Charity early in the episode.
Aaron says he’s back because he didn’t say what he wanted to when she let him go (too bad) and because she said she wasn’t confident in her decision of sending him home, leaving the door open for him to try and come back into this process. Charity thanks him for his words and for showing up and asks for time to process all that’s been shared.
And for the first time all season, we end on a cliffhanger. We’ll have to wait two weeks to find out what decision Charity makes. Personally, I’m convinced Aaron gets put right back on the plane that brought him here, but we’ll see.
Next week is Men Tell All, which looks like it’s going to be the Brayden show, and then two weeks from now is the finale. I’m so excited to see how this all ends!
your beginning soapbox paragraph is already so 🔥 had to applaud!! they have always made this show about “she/he is falling in love....” and that’s why the ones who fail fail. the reason why sean & catherine are the blueprint is because he famously didn’t only go with who he was falling in love with (he told lindsay when he broke up with her that he loved her), but he chose catherine, the person he was both in love with and could also see building a life with.