These Women Love Them Some Joey: Bachelor 28, Episode 1
And who can blame them, Joey is easily the hottest lead this franchise has had.
We are back! I don’t know about y’all, but I have been needing a reprieve, and some mess to look forward to, and with many of my favorite Housewives franchises ending, I’m glad to be back with Bachelor Nation recapping Joey’s season for you all.
If you’re new here, welcome! I like to do some housekeeping at the beginning of each year. There are two things you should know about these recaps.
This is a spoiler-free zone. I watch Bachelor Nation shows spoiler-free. It’s more fun for me and I feel it is the best/most ethical way to recap. Even if I accidentally read a spoiler, I won’t bring it here, but I might bring it to my Twitter feed.
I am a Black woman and view the shows through that lens. This one is maybe less obvious, but here’s why it matters. This show has been on ABC for 20+ years and has mostly portrayed straight white men and women as the only ones worthy of love. Or at least of grandiose, fairytale love. That’s changed pretty drastically over the last several seasons, but at least once a season, this franchise reminds us that this show was made by white people, for white people (there is a literal Trump aid on this season y’all). I understand that to some, I’m invading/entering a space that isn’t for me and my opinions. I’m doing it anyway. My opinions are colored by my experience as a Black woman, so sometimes my recaps will go deeper than superficial comments.
Ok, on to the recap.
I am loving these cold opens that the franchise added during Golden Bachelor and I am so glad to see they are keeping them for Joey’s season. We see Joey at his final proposal spot in a tropical place and he’s crying. My guy looks tired and broken. What, or who is the source of his tears? We’ll find out in ~8 weeks.
Fast forward to the “present” day, Joey is with his family in Philadelphia. His sisters are making fun of his impending Bachelor role and encouraging him to go easy on the makeouts. I just want the editors to turn the make out sounds DOWN this season. Please.
After some time getting his family’s blessing, we waste no time getting to the limo entrances.
Limo Entrances
Jesse Palmer greets Joey and asks if he’s ready for this journey to begin. He also shares that Joey’s cast of women is the largest in Bachelor history, which doesn’t mean much seeing as though a third of these women will be gone by the end of the two-hour episode.
The limo entrances were mostly boring, but there were a few that stuck out. Erika came out of the limo in a gorgeous teal dress dancing to the same music she grew up dancing to. I loved that Joey danced with her. Katelyn, the radio chemist had a cute experimental entrance as well. She had Joey pour some substance into a tube with red liquid and together they watched it bubble as she said “Looks like we’ve got chemistry,” a clever touch. I also couldn’t help, but notice how genuine Joey’s responses and conversations with the women were. He was complimentary of many of them and even took a few moments to ask follow-up questions where appropriate.
Jesse greets Joey halfway through the limo entrances and reminds him that Lea has a special card she was given at After The Final Rose that will “change the journey forever,” (or something dramatic along those lines). Lea is the last one out of the limo, likely for dramatic effect. Joey compliments her and acknowledges that he’s seen her previously before she invites him to come find her during the cocktail party so they can open the letter together (very smooth, Lea 😏).
Cocktail Party
Joey praises the process very early on in this episode. It’s one of the first things he says in his intro package and then he says it again to Jesse, and the women during his toast. This guy really wants us to believe he wants to get married. I also found him to be very present during the limo entrances and throughout the episode in his conversations with the women.
Autumn and Joey sit first and talk about how much their grandparents love one another and how it inspires them. If you aren’t new here, you know that I hate these comparisons. Our grandmothers couldn’t have their own bank accounts until well into the 70s, statistically, they were much more religious than our generation, so, of course, they’ve been together for 40+ years, they ain’t have no money and divorce was barely an option.
Jess gets the first kiss and she’s been calling Joey her future husband since she stepped into the mansion. I was surprised by how fast she went back a told the girlies. I definitely would have kept that to myself. Unfortunately, I think her age was showing a bit here. Jess is 23.
Joey had several other kisses on the first night including Jenn, Daisy, Maria, and Allison, but not her sister Lauren.
Jess comes in hot again and interrupts Joey’s time with Taylor. I typically think this is a bad move, especially on night one. You got that kiss girl, you know you’re probably safe. After they’re both done speaking to Joey, they spend some time talking to one another. Taylor thinks Jess was disrespectful for trying to spend more time with Joey when she already got significant time (and a kiss!) and Jess thinks Taylor should be grateful that she didn’t butt in sooner and let them kinda sorta finish their conversation. They get nowhere and come to no understanding.
Sister Sister
Lauren and Allison meet outside the mansion and decide they both really like Joey and don’t want to keep their relationship a secret, so they decide to tell the women they are sisters. The women quickly decide it’s weird; I agree it’s weird. It puts all the women in a tough position, it drives a potential wedge between the two sisters and it puts Joey in an awkward position. The good news for Allison is that Joey seems very uninterested in her, despite them being from the same city. Allison comes and steals Joey from her sister and kisses him! Cold-blooded.
They reveal their secret to Joey and it is anticlimactic. Joey admits in his confessional that he won’t be stringing them both along for too long.
The Bachelor Letter
Lea finally opens her letter and finds out it’s an opportunity for her to steal a one-on-one with any woman she wants as long as it’s before hometowns. I think it’s an amazing twist, but it’s gone to the wrong woman. It should’ve gone to someone like Jess. Lea begins to cry as she recounts what the card says to Joey and the women. She says she feels it’s a superficial one-up (it is) but it doesn’t mean anything if she’s not meant for Joey.
Lea then gets up and throws the card into the fire, which might be one of the best fuck yous to production we’ve seen. It’s admirable that Lea wants to be chosen ‘the right way’ and ‘for the right reasons’ but I would’ve loved to see it in someone else’s hands. Someone who would use it for fame gain, to get the coveted Pretty Woman date, the possibilities could have been endless. There’ll be plenty of drama from other sources and women, but sad that this attempt to shake up the show was ultimately a failure.
At the end of the night, Lea gets the last laugh because while she might not get to steal a one-on-one after burning the date card to a crisp, she did get the first impression rose. I loved Joey’s reasoning for giving it to her. He says her rejecting the card that was given to her speaks to her character. We love a man who cares about what’s inside as much as what’s outside. Is that giving Joey too much credit? Probably.
And after a sweet moment, Bachelor immediately turns it into an ad with Carmax. LMAO! This is such an unserious show, why do we watch it? 😂
Rose Ceremony
Right before the rose ceremony, there is a moment where Evalin begins to cry to the women’s surprise. She even says she barely understands why she’s crying. I imagine being around so many beautiful women is daunting. Furthermore, to not get any time to speak to Joey means you’re hoping he picks you based on looks and…vibes? The good news is that Evalin ends up with a rose.
In true dramatic Bachelor fashion, Allison gets the first rose and her sister Lauren gets the final one. And as predicted, about a third of the women are headed back home (nad possibly to Paradise?).
Going Home: Chandler, Zoe, Lanie, Samantha, Sam, Nat, Kyra, Talyah, Sandra, Kayla
Top Four Predictions
Below are my top four predictions based on their performances last night and the snippets we got from the season preview.
ALLISON
DAISY
JENN
LEXI
This was a solid first episode, I’m looking forward to seeing what the upcoming week brings!