To Bully, or Not to Bully: Bachelor 28, Episode 3
The question every Bachelor "villain" must ask themselves.
Y’all, the word bully was thrown around in the first 30 seconds of this episode 🙄. That tells us the type of “drama” we’re about to get. You know what I miss? The mess of Courtney Robinson, or Corrine Olympios, something about their “villainy” felt innocent, clearly produced, but still fun.
To be clear, I don’t think anyone on this show is there long enough to be bullied. The stress of being phone-less, away from true friends/loved ones pushes everyone to be a bit meaner and stir-crazy than they normally would, but more about the use of this word later.
Looking for Mrs. Right
On the date: Edwina, Kelsey A, Lexi, Allison, Medina, Chrissa, Lea, Sydney, Maria
The women head to a theater where they are greeted by the ASKN (April, Susan, Kathy, Nancy) Ladies from Gerry’s Golden Bachelor season. They share that the ladies will be participating in a pageant and will only have one hour to rehearse. Lea’s reaction was everything. The human version of this face: 🥴.
The pageant has three components: the Lazy Sunday Fit, a Q&A portion, and a talent show. I loved that the “fashion” portion was them wearing their Sunday’s best loungewear. I’m also really glad they didn’t belabor any of this, it was boom boom boom.
Some highlights: Lea’s Sunday loungewear, Kelsey A’s impromptu response to what she’d do if stuck in an elevator with Joey, Edwina having the balls to sing acapella, and Lexi’s world-best kisser “talent.” In the end, Lexi won the Mrs. Right Pageant. Joey said he picked her because she surprised him and put herself out there in an expected way. I’ve watched this show for so many years, but I still can’t decide if the lead is picking the “winner” or if it’s a choice heavily influenced by production.
Going into the cocktail party, the women are annoyed that Lexi won the pageant even though she technically didn’t perform a talent. If I was on this show, I’d be bothered by Lexi’s move too, but as a viewer, I like that she went for it. If her end goal was more screen time or to get Joey’s attention to get to know him more, she succeeded.
In his one-on-one time with Lexi, Joey doubles down on why he picked her. She put herself out there and he feels good about what they’ve established so far.
Maria used her time with Joey to share that she was uncomfortable that he rewarded Lexi for her non-talent. I like that she addressed it with Joey just as much as she addressed it with the women. So often it seems these women are almost more comfortable coming for each other, but not addressing it with the lead because the lead ultimately determines their fate in this process.
Next, Joey sits with Madina and asks her if there is a problem she is working through in the house. She hesitates but eventually shares that some of the women invalidated her feelings about being the oldest in the house. She continues and decides to use the word bullying to describe the treatment she experienced 🙄. Unless there is something we didn’t see, I don’t think it was bullying. Maria came in hot, she was confrontational and rude, but it wasn’t prolonged hate and disrespect, again that we saw.
While Madina chose not to name any names, Joey made it a point to say something when he rejoined the entire group. He said he knows there’s some drama going on in the house and that if something needs to be said he needs to hear about it. He focuses on the word “bully” and says that is why he needs to know about what’s happening. It’s like he hasn’t seen this show before. Of course, the word bullying is being misused like it is almost every season! It’s noble that Joey wants to make sure everyone is comfortable and safe in the house, but it’s also silly that watch him get to the bottom of what is ultimately a passive-aggressive comment from Maria.
Kelsey A. gets the groups that rose, but it is quickly overshadowed by Madina, Maria, and Sydney going back and forth at the end of the group date. There is an overemphasis on whether Madina called Maria a bully or not. She didn’t, for what it’s worth. But the insinuation of bullying and the use of the word is why Joey even brought it up to the group. Ultimately, if Maria felt disrespected, she deserved to have a moment to say what she needed to say to Maria and squash. Sydney didn’t really need to be involved at all and now because she insisted on “sticking up for her good friend,” she’s gonna get swept up in some mess and become collateral damage.
To me, Maria came in too hot last week. If Maria were a Black woman, or a woman of color (like Madina) she could not reasonably get away with that behavior by saying “I’m just blunt” or “that’s just the way I am.” All that being true, I still don’t think what Maria did last episode was bullying. She just says shit with her chest and doesn’t seem to consider how it comes off.
Love is a Wild Ride
I know I put Jenn in my final four, but I was surprised to hear her name on a solo date card this early. They’re spending the day on the beach “learning “to surf. I like that Joey keeps saying why he’s picking these women for dates, or special one-on-one portions of dates. It’s insight we don’t always get from the lead.
It was presented as if the pair were going to get a surfing lesson, but it was pretty much Joey surfing and Jenn cheering on the sidelines which is somehow more date-like. A straight man planning a date activity that only he is good at so that it forces his date to compliment him is on brand.
As is customary on one-on-one dates in this franchise, Jenn uses the dinner portion of her date to share about her parent’s toxic relationship. Jenn did not use this word, but to me what she was describing was a toxic situation. The way her parents, especially her dad, treated one another has led to them being estranged as adults. Seeing her parent’s relationship has left her questioning what a truly healthy relationship looks like and if she’d ever find love
Joey doesn’t respond to Jenn’s revelation, he just leans in for a kiss. Lmao. They go outside to watch a drone show where Joey gives Jenn the rose.
Jenn questioning whether she’d ever find a (non-toxic) love made me desperately wish for just a slightly older cast. Could you imagine a 35-year-old having the same conversation with Joey, but more evolved? The amount of times I thought I’d be alone forever at 25 is almost embarrassing to think about now, but those feelings were very real, and I know Jenn’s were too. I’d just love to see this franchise evolve beyond the “I’m unlovable” trope. Give me a woman who shares how her toxic upbringing and early 20s relationships led her to seek therapy and understand what she truly needs from a partner to have a successful relationship, that’s the storytelling I want to see!
The First Ever Bachelor Open 🎾
On the date: Katelyn, Autumn, Rachel, Daisy, Evalin, Kelsey T, Starr, Jess
Joey is looking for his doubles partner for life, but he can’t do that without a friendly competition of tennis in the latest FaShUnz. The best part of this date is Jesse Palmer’s commitment to covering the competition.
The women engaged in several silly matches of tennis until the last doubles team was standing. In the end, the Kelsey T. (dressed as butter) and Evalin (dressed as a lobster) won the first-ever Bachelor Open.
We get more of Katelyn during the cocktail party and she’s as great as she seemed from her Bachelor bio and limo entrance. She shares that all her aunties and mother are single and it sounds like it’s mostly by choice. Still, she’s looking to break her “family curse,” and wants to be in a relationship, she’s just not willing to settle, much like the women she’s grown up around. She also admits she’s falling for Joey. He smiles at this revelation and leans in for a kiss.
Next, Joey spends time with front runner (to me) Daisy. I love how she followed up on their one-on-one date. I feel like we never see this! So often so much trauma dumping happens on these one-on-one dates, but there is never any meaningful follow-up. I appreciated that Daisy used her limited time to forward their relationship in such a meaningful and specific way. I also love how forthcoming she’s been about her hearing loss and Lyme disease. Maybe it’s because she came on the show as an advocate/influencer for those with different abilities, but her comfortability in addressing seemingly “stupid” questions is refreshing. We don’t often see people with hearing loss on TV, especially on reality TV, so in a way her teaching Joey about her day-to-day life, allows us to learn and be more informed about a relatively common disability that others have.
Katelyn gets the group date rose. Love to see it!
A KFC Pool Party
Y’all, when I saw that this impromptu pool party was going to include KFC, I said “The ghetto!” (IYKYK). But ABC gotta pay the bills somehow, and if we get Michael Bolton and cold opens with Billie Eilish music playing, then we’re gonna get some version of this too.
Sydney starts the pool party stirring the pot. While Madina wasn’t interested in naming names, Sydney was. She told Joey that Maria spoke to her disrespectfully and was creating a hostile environment (a much better way to phrase what happened without using the word bully).
Joey is concerned by this revelation, especially since he’s had so many good moments with Maria. So he pulls her to go talk. He repeats the complaints he’s heard, Maria denies it, and then goes into how she was bullied in the past and would never want to repeat the behavior that was done to her. She shares that she’s surprised at how poorly she’s getting along with the other women and how she’s being perceived. I think that’s fair.
Before they part ways, Maria says she’s struggling to understand how Joey could be interested in both of them. I don’t like when the women make this comment on this show. The lead doesn’t know any of these people enough three “weeks” (which are usually 3-4 days each) into this process. Joey is likely going off of looks and vibes at this point. Maria tells Joey he should have asked Sydney more questions and Joey agrees. He cuts the pool party short to clear his head. Most of the women don’t get time because of this mess, so they’re pissed.
The first rose goes to Lexi and as he continues to hand out roses Madina, Maria, and Sydney worry about their fate. Maria gets the second to last rose and the final rose goes to…Sydney because of course we’re not done with this drama yet. Last week when we were getting this build-up, I thought it was going to be funny, petty drama, but this is mostly a situation of passive aggression and a bit of miscommunication that got elevated because the word bully was used. Unfortunately, three women I was hoping to get more from—Starr, Chrissa, and Evalin—are headed home.
Next week, it’s time to go international! The group is headed to Malta, where the Maria/Sydney drama will culminate in a two-on-one. It seems like Sydney does some shady shit, which I’m here for, but ultimately, they both should go ahead and pack it up at this point. This drama started with Madina and now she’s moved on while they haven’t. Yikes.
See y’all next week for TWO nights of Bachelor! TBD on if there’ll be one big recap or two next week, it depends on how they split up the episode, but know there will be a recap! See you then!