Wish Grant-ed: Bachelor 29, Episode 1

An ok season opener with room for growth.

Hello, good people! I am excited to be back to recap our second Black Bachelor! I hope it doesn’t end up like the last one did (the Chris Harrison scandal, Emmanual Acho as the finale host, and a weird breakup between a Black man and a white woman who went to slave parties just a year or two prior).

I’ll be honest, Monday night’s episode fell short for me. The women were beautiful (as always) and Grant was looking FIONE, but it was just sort of ok.

First, we had his intro package, which was incredibly lazy. We got nothing from his time with Jenn — which I understood, the connection wasn’t there, but seemed forced (although, that was the case for all Jenn’s men, wasn’t it?). Then, they have this man posing in front what was certainly a fake brick wall in a gray suit. Why did they put this man in a gray suit? An ugly one at that. This is The Bachelor, was Colman Domingo’s stylist unavailable? Could y’all not shake a few grand at Law Roach to be a guest stylist? There are so many ways to switch up this show and make it more relevant. Partnering with celebrity stylists has been a missed opportunity for years.

Next, we got to meet Grant’s family, including his grandmother — who didn’t seem to know wtf was going on — and his father who is a recovering addict. I think we’re already starting on the right foot by having Grant’s dad in episode one. While the relationship convo seems a bit forced (as does the one they appear to have later in the season) it was nice to see a Black man and his father reconnect and try to move forward.

One thing I know for sure, Grant is the finest lead this franchise has ever had. But I am concerned about the low budget of it all. I’ve barely seen him in ads, TV shows, and other promo material as much as other leads. I mean Jenn Tran was on Call Her Daddy — one of the most popular podcasts in the world. How are we pulling back on promo just a season later? A mess.

(Disney/John Fleenor)

Limo Entrances

As always, these girls are gorgeous, but the limo entrances left a lot to be desired. The ones that made a splash did so in a big way and all the others simply fell flat. Here are the ones that stood out to me.

• J’Nae — She brought out game chalk and threw it in the air like confetti. Grant immediately understood the reference and that she was likely a basketball player as well. They each took a bit of chalk and threw it up together. Afterward, Grant said they’d have to make a handshake later. Unfortunately, that handshake moment never happened because she was eliminated, which was clearly a shock to her, it was one to me as well.

• Bailey — Let me start with a caveat, this woman annoyed the absolute fuck out of me throughout the episode. She is there to get her follower count up and I respect the hustle. She gave us enough entertainment in episode one to earn a spot in Paradise. TBD on if she’ll get it. What impressed me about Bailey’s limo entrance is the commitment to the bit and the ability to capture something these women — who all want to be at least a little IG/TikTok famous — never get to, their night one look through the view of a cellphone camera. Plus, she got several selfies with Grant, another thing that doesn’t happen too often.

• Alexe — While I was not super impressed by Linda the llama, I appreciated the “no drama llama” line that everyone kept repeating. Very smart play by Alexe, who is clearly a crowd favorite (amongst the women, the audience, and Grant) so far.

• Zoe — They saved the best for last in my opinion. I loved Zoe’s t-shirt cannon entrance! She evoked the nostalgia of a basketball game, claimed her man, and launched a merch line in ~90 seconds.

(Disney/John Fleenor)

Cocktail Party & Rose Ceremony

Grant’s first speech to the women was about what he was looking for in a partner. Like the 28 Bachelors before him, he wants a wife, he wants kids, he wants a mortgage, a dog, and a love that rivals his parent’s 30-year marriage (I’m assuming minus the addiction part). Do y’all think we’ll ever get a Bachelor that gets up during their first cocktail toast and says something like “Honestly, I’m just here to fuck.” 😂? Probably not, right? A girl can dream. I’ll just never get over the fact that the men declare so quickly that they want a wife and family knowing this show has the track record it does.

Still, I kind of believe Grant. He’s already cried so much in the first episode and I think that’s a really good sign.

Bailey stole him first and fired off 10 fast facts about herself, before snapping another selfie. She didn’t let Grant get a word in. He didn’t seem that into the energy she was giving.

Next, Parisa has prepared an AI-laden PowerPoint of her and Grant’s future. It was a little awkward, but a funny homage to the PowerPoint presentations we see on social media all the time. One way to make this better would be to make it a group date. Give these ladies an hour to create a PowerPoint or even an arts and crafts vision board presentation that shares a bit about who they are. Call me producers, I got ideas for days.

Allyshia and Grant were very cozy and cuddled up. After a bit of back and forth, Grant went in for the kiss. Juliana also got a kiss, followed by Litia. At this point I had two questions for Grant: Why are you kissing so many of these women on night one and do you like Black women? Because production finally gave us a beautiful variety of Black-ass women and if we still end up with a predominately white final four, I’m going to be so annoyed. We were very specific when we said we wanted a Black lead who dated Black women and a diverse cast. I know only Black women will understand this critique, yet I refuse to explain it further.

After a few more moments with other women, a mystery woman comes in. The women immediately size her up and speculate who she could be. Most of them believe it’s an ex because she and Grant have a rapport. These women assuming an ex would show up on night one let me know how poorly they view production and also that this show truly is not psychologically safe for these contestants (but we already knew that) 😭. I knew it was his sister right away, and once the women found out the same, they switched up real quick trying to get to know all the info about Grant.

His sister, Taylor, gathers the women to share small tidbits and photos of what her brother was like growing up. I appreciated this addition. So often, we see siblings added into the first episode in sneaky ways that aren’t helpful. An unannounced entrance and semi-private time with the lead before the women find out she’s related to him was great.

I usually put a lot of stock in who gets a kiss the first night, but Grant kissed so many women, that I’m not sure a kiss meant that much to him on night one. In fact, I’m willing to bet he kissed more women than we saw. The way he was forward and bold with his compliments and hand placement on certain women makes me think his love language is words of affirmation and physical touch. He was just so affectionate with these ladies on night one. And it wasn’t just one or two of them, it was several.

Before the cocktail party comes to an end, it’s time to hand out the First Impression Rose. Somewhat unsurprisingly, it goes to Alexe. As the First Impression Rose recipient of this season, Alexe didn’t only make it to mansion move-in day, she also earned the first one-on-one date. I’m so glad they finally added this to the perks of getting the First Impression Rose. I think it will make leads think a little less with their genitals and instead focus on a slightly more meaningful connection (as meaningful as one can be after ~8 hours).

---

At the end of the night, the group of 25 women was whittled down to 18. J’Nae, Christina, Kelsey, Savannah, Radhika, Kyleigh, and Niecey were all sent home. These choices gagged me a bit. I thought he was really feeling J’Nae’s look and would have tried to get to know her more, Kyleigh was made for this show in a Bachelor Nation factory, and Niecey seemed like a fun hang, Hopefully, we’ll see some of them on the beaches of Paradise this summer!

Top Four Based on Ep. 1

Alexe

Like I said in my precap, Alexe is all through this damn season trailer. She got the first impression rose and she will get the first date because of that. Plus, she brought a llama and had everyone saying “no llama drama” all damn night. She’s starting on third base and I think she’ll be the one to hit a home run with Grant.

Juliana

I don’t really see it, but Grant seems to. So she gets a spot.

Carolina

Not to be rude, but I just think Grant wants to fuck her. She was pretty vulnerable in their one-on-one time and even started crying, but Grant’s confessional after speaking to her was focused on the fact that she didn’t seem like she was comfortable with a kiss on the first night. I found that response to be odd. Especially since we saw him be very complimentary of some of the other women throughout the night.

Rose

The irony of someone named Rose making it to the end is enough of a reason to keep her around. I don’t think Rose is who Grant typically goes for and that will surprise him and keep in entertained.

What’d you think of the season premiere? Does anyone stick out to you as a front-runner (no spoilers please!)? Let’s chat about it in the comments below.